HIV testing

While staying at the orphanage in Malawi, we decided to ask Thomas a few tough questions about the children he housed. When getting to know the children you can't help but wonder:

are they a single or double orphan?

do they have any other family living?

how long have they been here at the orphanage?

just how did their parents pass away?

With the last question, HIV/AIDS is obviously one of the prevalent epidemics in Africa, being a main cause of deceased parents, family members, and children in Africa. 

 

We decided to ask Thomas if he knew if any of the 29 kiddos he housed, were HIV+. 

He responded that he really had no idea, that a lot of the children he cares for, were dropped off by grandparents, neighbors, or siblings.

I guess it's just not something you inquire about upon taking in another child.

 

Where in America, everything you do requires 21098471097 questions, billions of forms, and fees.

You want a driver's license, financial aid for college, a grant for adoption, heck even a cheeseburger at a restaurant, you are questioned endlessly about every detail. 

It's the American way you could say.

Everything has to have a 'rhyme or reason'.  

 

We asked Thomas' permission to have them tested, and he was absolutely for it. 

So, we walked to the nearest hospital the next day and made an appointment for the following week to get all the kids tested.

We were shocked to find out that the Malawian government has granted free testing for the virus, and if you're positive, free ARV meds as well.

The rate of infection/births has increased greatly- hence the government's allowance to free testing.

 

Some members of our team were really struggling with this reality of what these test results could and would  mean. I on the other hand was either just numb to it, or in my mindset was-

"How can we NOT do something?"

It's free. Upon knowing the results, we can take ACTION with meds and educate the rest of the kids/Thomas' family on how to care for them.

 

Here's my journal entry I wrote in the "waiting room" at the hospital post-testing/results:

Our appointment for the kids to be tested for HIV was at 8am today. Of course, we didn't even start breakfast at the orphanage until 8:01a,, after we already had everyone loaded into the truck to leave. 

This is Africa.

When we arrived at the hospital the kids were all sat down on benches, and the nurse gave a tutorial about why they were there, what was going to happen, and what exactly was HIV/AIDS, and if you're positive- what that means, and what the steps are after. The kids were SO ATTENTIVE. A lot of the ones that have been in school, knew a lot of the answers to the questions the nurse was asking them. I was so proud of their patience, knowledge, and courage. I stood in the back and just prayed as we went through this counseling session- for them to be brave, and comforted, and that they would know they were loved no matter the result. I don't care what the test said, I was still going to cuddle, hug, kiss, and tickle those kiddos. 

 

I brought Jolly Rancers and Sillybandz on our trip to Malawi, and had been saving them for the 'right moment'. Who knew it'd before a morning of HIV testing in a hospital though. After the counseling session, we passed out a Sillyband to each child and one by one they were called into a little office. If there were siblings, we had them go in together, and for those of us who had "special little friends/kids" of our own that we had made bonds with- we also went in with them. (there were at least two of us Americans in the office with them at all times, holding their hands or having them sit on our laps) I went with the twins of course (Sammy & Foster), Rodrick, Chimwemwe,  and Judith....They were all CHAMPS! A few jerks, shudders, and only a couple tears/whimpers upon getting their fingers pricked. SO PROUD of them! 

 

I was most nervous for the twins, they're my little buddies for the time being at the orphanage so far...everyone on our team jokes (I'm not sure if they were really ever joking rather than being pretty serious) that someday I'll be their mom. These are the boys Beau and I should adopt, etc. I giggled at first for the first few times, but you really have to guard your heart on a trip like this with situations like we're presented with. I absolutely love these boys. All of the children at Thomas'....I definitely have made a special bond with the twins that's been different from the others- but I really had to put a stop to my team's joking about this- because it messes with a girl's heart who's passionate about someday adopting. Anyway, after they were tested, Katie came out of the office and said, "Kendra.....your boys are negative!". Praise the Lord! :) Sigh of relief.

 

Out of allllll the kids tested, all but one- were negative. All but the most jovial, sweet, singing all the time, playing jokes on us constantly, absolutely brilliant, dancing non-stop Miriam was the only one positive for HIV. She's seven years old and an absolute JOY to be around, a double orphan, who will now have to take ARVs for the rest of her life. She was the only one that cried and refused to be tested at first, having never been tested before- it was odd to look back and now know, she's indeed positive. Did she somehow know already? It was an eery situation. 

 

I pray that God will give her the strength and courage needed each day, that she'll forever trust Him as her Savior- and that no matter how hard it may get, that he loves her more than anything and so do we! Thankfully the meds are free, and Thomas is fully aware of all that will be required for her health. Praise God that there was only one. Hallelujah. Father, will you please protect all of these children no matter where your will leads them, and that they always trust you first and foremost.  

 

- Kendra

one of the lessons on the board at a school we visited a few weeks prior

 

counseling session before testing!

 

Sammy being brave :)

and Foster

?

Well, it's here.

The 'flashbacks', 

flipping through the 3,000+ photo-montage on my iPhoto, 

the status updates/comments on Facebook from teammates, 

the pages that are stained from the red dirt in my journal,

I can't ignore it any longer.

The flood of emotions that I've gone through from the few days before I left Africa to well, 

this very moment- are indescribable. 

I feel silly even trying to dish it out, or who wants to read this anyway, 

like they'll get it? 

I'll sound like a whiny-baby, an ungrateful American, a goody-two-shoes?

Your last days in-country are mixed with excitement to go back to all the things you found comfortable for your entire life in America, and sadness to be leaving your new 'home' for the past month and halfish.

I went to Haiti for about ten days, a year ago. 

I got a pretty good taste of poverty and the environment of a third-world country then. 

To be honest, Africa is very similar to Haiti. 

The dirt, the lack of electricity, water, money, the lack of efficiency with small "no-brainer"- tasks, yet the ability to be resourceful with so little, the joy in people's lives with little to no physical possessions, the hospitality, etc. 

All very similar.

But this time around, I lived on this continent for six weeks. A month and a half. 

You're definitely past the honeymoon stage of things. You're no longer (as) shocked by things you see, you get used to the pace of life- which is much MUCH slower, you begin to really miss- 

yet somehow, 

not at all really....the things you thought you did at home. 

Like showers, a bed, cinnamon rolls, the gym, a car you can jump into at any time, or knowing the latest and greatest headline, electronic modification, or heck even about getting some piece of paper degree 'thing'. 

I thought I missed them, in actuality- I really don't think I did.

You just have absolutely no idea what's outside of these red, white, and blue walls.

None.

I'm still trying to process it.

This is the part where now that I'm back, I get these bipolar feelings about America and being back. 

We were warned by our oh-so-wonderful FOCUS training staff that these would be normal feelings. 

You might come home and clean out your closet, or turn the water off while you lather your soap/shampoo instead of leaving it on while you do and then rinse, etc.  You might check your phone less often, login to Facebook and scroll through updates less too.

You get the jist.

I miss my friends I made there of course as well.

It's fun to add seven hours to our time and think about what they might be doing, like I did for here when I was there....

Wonder what the weather is like there, how the rice building we funded/contracted is doing, if our friends miss us in return. 

They do :)

We made a conference call yesterday and they confirmed this wonder.

oh, how I miss Malawi.

Don't even get me started with these handsome little guys. See, way to go- you got me cryin :)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I returned exhausted from a 36-hour travel hoopla.

Three flights, one being 16 solid hours, not one wink of sleep.

I had adrenaline coursing through my dead body- excited to see Beau, experience some of my American delicacies, and begin sharing stories.

I was on this 'high' from spending six weeks not missing a day being in the Word with my Jesus.

Getting to know Him and being SO close to him on another part of his creation in this world.

Having/seeing prayers answered throughout the trip or even immediately.

Indescribable.

I remember praying and fasting on the plane ride home asking God to help me to continue this new-found habit that I was in love with- Him too.

Well, 22 days later (TWENTY-TWO???? ALREADY??)

I. Failed.

My excuse for the first week was jet-lag and being tired and needing to recoop.

Then it was subbing for my ACPC job, an unexpected blessed 40 hours to start gaining an income.

So that took my time and energy.

Throw in QT (quality time) with my other man- Beau.

Geez, doesn't he deserve time too after 6 weeks?

"Tomorrow God, I promise". 

Twenty-two.

22 days.

That's all it took for me to breeze right back into things, put my Savior God on the back burner and move on with my life.

Because, "I'm tired, or have to catch up doin this or that, or because no one understands, or ________"

Some pretty sweet pictures, a filled journal,  and a heart full of memories.

Is that all I really have left?

Can you tell I've hit the postpartum part of my return?

Blah.

Everything's so blurry.

Yuck.

I wanna go back. :)

I met with a very dear friend of mine last week, she wanted to know all about my trip, the stories, the emotions, the everything.

It meant a great deal that she took time out of her evening, away from her hubby.

She sat and listened intently- asked lots of questions, and just shared in my joy and excitement.

I sit here with tears in my eyes, she's like a mother to me, really.

To this day not one person in my immediate family has really asked a single question, dug deep into what went on in my life for those six weeks. 

What God did. 

What He showed me.

Who He brought into my life.

They'll listen if I bring something up randomly- which is great, but what she did that evening meant the world. She knew she might not understand, but she asked anyway. She prayed for me before, during, and since my return. She genuinely cared. I'm thankful for that.

It can be a lonely and weird thing coming back from an experience like this.

That's why it's hard to tell stories, to post pictures that the stories behind them are left blank, gosh, 

I just don't even know.

I promise more joyful, uplifting, encouraging, maybe even hilarious stories to come. 

This post isn't even fair, but important to note/acknowledge.

But, you get the good, the bad, and the ugly processing sometimes too. 

The real and raw Kendra.

Just wanting to feel God like I did then,

spending time with Him would be a good start, huh?

Pray for that for me, please?

Thank you. and thankful for you.

Heaven? No, just Malawi.

I have to admit...

Yes, I KNOW I'm a terrible blogger. I'll admit that, BUT I have a few excuses!!
Like:

1.) Upon my return from Africa and calling my boss at my job with the elementary kiddos in Ames, she desperately needed a sub for 40 hours this past week and half of this week and next.
SO woah baby, that got my butt in gear for exhaustion.

One of the fieldtrips we took was to the ISU Dairy Farm, and here were our 'poop-proof' shoes/booties. Dad thinks THESE should be my 'weddin-shoes'...

2.) My sister moved back home, and till I get hitched in November- we're basement roomies again. However, through all the moving of my stuff from her bedroom/closet--back into mine, (hey, I acquired a few more things the three years I was moved out) it's caused a hurricane to blow through my room.
Seriously.
You should have heard the winds.

EVIDENCE! EEEK!

3.) My future hubby also had quite the move this past weekend as well. This apartment he moved into, just so happens to be the same apartment I will be moving into in three months! It's been real exciting moving around the furniture, decorating, etc for this soon-to-be apartment of mine as well. 

and that my friends,
has been my top three reasons for not blogging- especially about Africa. 

Along with not blogging,
has been the not wedding planning.
Oops. 

So here lies (that doesn't look right?) my pile of lists of things to do....

Wedding binder, yellow notebook full of "to-dos", journal, Bible...the works. Man oh man.

Okay, okay, okay- not the best excuses.
How bout this one?
I didn't have to sub today and my man had the day off too,
soooooooooooo
I convinced him we had to go to the pool today, because there was a 50% chance of storms tomorrow and we had a list of things to do in DM on Friday...

so we laid under this......

went down a few of these....

and caught a peek at this handsome man layin next to me....(later to find out he paid real, real, realllll bad for not applying suncreen during this slot of time) but what a looker!!!

 After all of these it's totally easy to see just why it's been so hard to sit down and pour out my heart of all my African adventures, right? :(
Or how my blog background got destroyed and looks like the African outhouse now.
Or why my to-do list for tomorrow looks like this:

**Don't judge the third from the bottom.  No, it's nothing to do with a wedding shower-I went to the pool two days in a row, chlorine is totally a disinfectant/counts as a shower. Plus, I've got a 'wave' in my hair that I can never get with daily showers! AND I've been busy :) 
....Just relivin' Africa days...shh.

Well, to be honest I still have to admit a few things.
For one, I'm a total night owl-
which is the only time I feel as if my thoughts and feelings really "come to me".  So it's times like right now that things "make sense" to me, and the fingers flow on the keyboard, journal, cards, letters, etc.
This doesn't jive well with the alarm clock that blares a few hours later.
What a bummer.
The other confession is that I have what I call "African Anxiety" when it comes to trying to process Africa and the people I encountered and what God taught me.
It's tough. Real tough.
So until tomorrow, or today? Just stick with me.
I promise by my next post, I'll not only look, but smell better. ;)

For now and until the whopper story of the twins come- please smile, giggle, and pray at/for these boys.

because they always, make me smile & giggle :)

and I can't help but to continuously pray for them.

VIPs from the week at Booker's

Enjoy the new background while under construction. It reminded me of the bathroom I used for four weeks in the bush....(see previous blog post if you forgot) I apologize ahead of time for my sloppy blogging. For how much I like 'simplified' things- this stuff is sooo not simple.

yah, making it bigger just cut half of it all off...poo.

So here is my third attempt- (I'm only leaving/showing one for evidence :(  ) at a collage of pictures so that your finger doesn't get a cramp from scrolling through picture after picture!!! These pictures are from the first week while staying at Booker's. I said screw it- and posted individuals anyway so that you can actually SEE the pictures.



* We went to a boarding school with about 400 students, and we were invited into the Head School Master's office where he basically questioned us all about America and then asked if we would mind (all 7 of us) sharing our testimonies...UM can you say SLIGHTLY intimidating? They lined us all up on a little porch/ledge in front of the students, and one by one we stood up and shared what God has done in our lives to lead us to Him.....I literally sat praying as the first four or five us gave their testimonies...telling God- if You don't show up and speak through me, I'm going to throw up or pee my pants standing in front of these high schoolers, I had no idea how to put my God story into words, ugh. Well, God showed up. He showed up in all seven of us- and two brave students stood up at the end in front of ALLLLLL of their peers and said they wanted to follow Christ from that day forward!!

all 400 wouldn't fit- shoot! But can you get the idea of the intimidation?

* Me & Damyano. I caught this little guy out of the corner of my eye as we were circled up with some villagers on top of a mountain- praying for their church/building that will be built there. He just looks absolutely defeated, not to mention in a whole lot of pain from this infection(?) on his eye. I looked at him and motioned for him to "come here", he looked to his brother sitting next to him, and his brother yanked his arm and shoved him towards me. I picked him up and asked if our group could lay our hands on him and just pray for him. :( Man, what a bummer. After, we walked back up the mountain and Melanie whipped out her first-aid kit. We didn't have much, some alcohol swabs, gauze, bandages...she did what she could. He had absolutely no emotion the entire time. I think his face and his heart were just numb. Say a prayer for this little guy- whatever he might be doing in his village on that mountain in Malawi, Africa right this moment.

I'm not sure if I'm squinting? BUT this is Damyano! :(

* Just playing with a couple little girls as their church congregation was performing some of their songs and dance moves for us "azungus" (foreigners/white)...

* Pigtail girl: well she's adorable. I basically played "nursery staff" for her personally during the three hour church service. WHICH she so graciously peed on my leg through her skirt and mine amidst playing! Eh, oh well.

kinda blurry- but this is where the wet spot was ;)

* Big sis/little sis: This picture doesn't really capture how small that 'big sister' is while carrying her little sister around after church. This scene NEVER ceased to amaze me. They're Wayyyyy more hardcore than I am at 22 years of age.

* Elisha & I (see below)

* Third over: Baby Momma let me hold hers :) Tiny little thing!

* Last: Just all the colors of the world (well, at least two) holding hands during frisbee

One of my favorite people I met in Malawi was this 18 year old Elisha. I'm just going to insert my journal entry about him, thank goodness I wrote things down- phew!

 June 11, 2011

From the moment we pulled into Booker's home- we've felt like and been treated as family. We have been served so graciously and they have set the bar so high when it comes to hospitality, humility, and what a servants heart looks like. WOAH BABY!

There is one boy who stands apart from the rest of the residents that stay at Booker's. When I think of it, it wasn't until Thursday that I really took notice. That's the day when I could begin to put names to faces, recognize that someone different comes in and out each day for various things at Booker's. But I could pick out the regulars now! :) 

Elisha is one of them. Elisa is 18 years old. He's always doing something around the house or yard. Always. Sweeping, fetching water from the well, filling the toilets, boiling shower water, cooking, going to the market to get groceries, clearing the table, mopping, doing dishes, etc. The other three girls on our team and I have felt absolutely terrible when we realized how much he does for US?!! We've come to find out that it's more of an honor than any sort of burden because we're guests....but he does this all with such JOY!

We got up the nerve tonight to ask Booker about his story, why in the world is he joyful while doing all of these things? He told us that at one point he and his wife were part of another church, and they knew Elisha's parents and him. But it was one day after church, that they came home to find Elisha at their home waiting for them. Lesta recognized him- and he told her his situation- he's oldest of three kids and he's recently lost both parents to the HIV/AIDS virus. Leaving him the "bread winner" of the family, and that he was looking for help. His siblings now stay with their grandpa and he needed a way to provide for them. They offered him a home and a job helping with chores around their home.

It's here at Booker and Lesta's that he spends time with other orphans, and working alongside Lesta that he's been under her provision/teaching/wisdom, and love from the Lord that he has helped turn sorrow and pain- into hope and healing. It's in their home that he has unknowingly blessed me with his joyful attitude, smile, servant's heart, gentleness, and love for Jesus.

And we don't even speak the same language. Tears flood my eyes hearing him next to me at our "family devos", in Chichewa (for Booker to translate for us) that HE is so thankful for us and for this week we've spent here, and that the March for Malawi 5K Race t-shirt we had left over and gave him before dinner tonight....(as he ate ouside)- made him SO HAPPY, and he appreciated it, and thanked us again and again and again. 

God? My heart cries out to you in praise for who You are ARE to HIM and that he seemingly shows that he embraces it. God, you are good. All the time. I pray for my dear brother Elisha. I ask that the love and peace you offer would mend the pain from his loss. God, I thank you for putting him in Booker's care, a house that loves the Lord, that are helping him heal and grow in you. I praise you that after his suffereings- he is able to serve joyfully and know that his road, hasn't ended. God continue to pour out your blessings on him and his family. May he always know YOU GOD- know that you are his provider, and you love him unfathomly much.  --Amen

Booker Banda & his family

It's SO hard to know where to start telling stories and experiences- so I'll just start from the beginning! When we landed Zach (a Malawian) who works for Gospelink (the organization we went through) picked us up from the airport and explained that we were going to a pastor's house that Gospelink supports in Lilongwe. So we hoped in the little van with all our luggage and showed up on Booker Banda's doorstep! (Zach headed back to the Pastor Training Center, built by Gospelink- and we'd meet up with him the following week) The thing that continually surprised me most about Malawi (or Africa in general I'm sure) is the sheer excitement everyone had in having Americans as visitors. That excitement extended to unbelievable amounts of hospitality. They were just so genuinely grateful for visitors and so kind in making sure we had everything we needed, were comfortable, and felt welcome.

The front of Booker's house that was built for him by a man/friend from the UK that supports Booker. This is a "mansion" anywhere you go in Malawi. He has a brick wall/gate around it to protect his property. NOT normal Malawian living quarters.

Where we ate all of our meals!

this is half of the living room, there were 3-4 other couches. Booker uses this room for counseling and gatherings! We were watching a movie on a laptop someone gave him with the electricity that was on at that time.

Booker's church! SO FUN! (and our mode of transportation everywhere we went- and I GOT TO DRIVE one day, on the 'other side' of the road, and in the right passenger seat)

Booker's granddaughter Agatha (most intelligent girl I've ever met in my life), and great-granddaughter Vanessa

Booker and our oh-so-animated team leader Nathan

Lesta, Booker's wife, amazing cook, mother, and women's ministry leader of their church! She was WONDERFUL!

Those are just a few pictures from the week at Booker's. Every night we had 'family devos' in their living room. Everyone that currently lives with him and his wife meet in the living room after dinner by electricity light or candle light if it wasn't "our side" of the city's turn for electricity. Booker would translate everything we said for those who couldn't understand English. He speaks EXCELLENT English- and is such a wise man. I thoroughly enjoyed this week here, and it kind of 'broke us in' to Malawi. With brick walls, beds, toilets that you had to pour water into the bowl after pulling it from the well in order to make it flush, introduced us to showering with a cup and bucket of water, and started our menu of rice, beans, greens (spinich looking stuff), and bread for breakfast.

More to come with our weekly activities at Booker's tomorrow!

PS- if you know how to make a 'collage of pictures' rather than individuals, I'm open for suggestions! ;) These posts could get lengthy with the amount of pictures for storytelling! haha

are there any words?

It’s been a week now since I’ve been back home in the States. A WEEK! It’s flown by just as fast as the six weeks I spent in Malawi did. To be honest, this is my fourth attempt at writing an updated blog post. I’ve had many ‘requests’ to blog about my adventures and stories for the past month and a half in Africa, but every time I sit down to type- I just have this blank stare. As the title of this post says, are there really any words? I struggled with this after returning from Haiti for 10 days last spring. Tons of people ask “How was Africa/ (Haiti)”, “How was your trip”, etc….very few actually REALLY want to know and get down and dirty into the experience. It’s kinda like walking by someone in Target, Hyvee, or even the foyer at church and saying more than asking- “How are you?”…do we really wanna know what’s behind the ho-hum greeting as we keep on walking, not even hesitating a few moments to really hear their answer?

So, I’ll do my best to convey through pictures and words on this blog some of my most treasured memories and encounters while being in Africa. Some I’ll just story tell, describe the pictures shown, or some just plug in journal entries from the journal I kept while traveling. It’s a cliché to say that most pictures and words absolutely won’t do the actual situation justice- which bums me out. BUT we’ll see what God does through this web page as people read through….

On the other hand, I haven’t figured out how to process the last six weeks upon reentry to the U.S. I’m kind of surprised how easily I slipped back into the routine of things: an overhead shower with running hot water to where I can use two hands to rinse, a bed without a mosquito net, using this little switch that when you flip it up or down causes a light to go on or off, a vehicle that always has gas in it- which also means I can get up and drive and go wherever I want to- when I want to, with no worries of a gas crisis, and with that- driving a car on the right side of the road but in the left side of the vehicle…ha! All things that weren’t “so” in Africa.

Week 1 shower:

Can you see?? Ya, neither could we when we showered. A candle stick, a bucket, and cup to pour the water over you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Weeks: 3-5: this shack, you can't hardly stand up straight inside of it- of course with bucket and pouring cup!

to the far left, the man in the 'green' is a military officer- there for security purposes with the gas crisis. Riots break out when word comes in that a certain station has gas....

week one: A BED & net of course!

Week 2: Mattresses on the floor with nets!

Weeks 3, 4, 5, and 6: TENTS

I do miss to a certain degree the pace of life in Africa. The common remark is that we American’s have watches, and they have “TIME”…..everything is so fast-paced here in the States. It’s annoying. Really annoying. If we had somewhere to go in Africa, and it started at lets say-- church at 10:00am, we LEFT at 10:40am, and were the first ones there! (and we were living with the Pastor even, so we left with him) We also made an appointment at the hospital for some testing to be done, the appointment was at 8am….again, we left at about 8:35am. But as they say, “Palibe Vuto”….NO PROBLEM! CRAZZZZZZY! At times, it was quite aggravating- God broke me of some patience issues through those instances. 

There’s a TON more stories, and even MORE pictures…and I’ll definitely do my best to explain and describe what God was doing over there in Malawi, and to no surprise how I think He worked even MORE in MY heart. Funny how that works, huh? We’ll start tomorrow!!

Thank you ALL to who financially supported my way to and from Africa, thank you to ALL that were praying for the team, and I as an individual as well as the hearts and people we encountered, and thank you to those who loved and prayed for my Beau as we were away from each other.

We love and appreciate each and every one of you!

Leaving........on a JET PLANE!

holy.  moly. 

it's the night before I begin the journey to Africa. Tomorrow at noon, my team that's heading to MALAWI, AFRICA is meeting at the church to be prayed for, then hopping in two vans and driving down to Kansas City. Our first flight takes off from there at 5:49 pm to D.C. and we will over night there, until NOON the next day (June 7th) and leave D.C. for Ethiopia........we will arrive there at 7:45am the NEXT DAY (June 8th). Tylenol PM anyone?????? WOWZERS! Then we get on another plane that will take us to Malawi......and then our task begins!!!

Six weeks. That's how long I will be away from the love of my life, best friend, fiance, partner in crime, you fill in the blank- along with being away from family, best friends, running water, electricity, my bed, yummy cinnamon rolls (my favorite food ever), the pool, the gym, technology, the free will to go wherever, do whatever, see whoever, hang out with whoever, etc.

But hold it right there, every time I get a little "down", nervous, anxious, worried, etc about the above- I have to stop and counteract that thinking and 'slap myself' into remembering that every single one of those things are all blessings from God. Things that he has given me out of His gracious generosity. Things He can rip away from me at any given time no matter what, things that only bring temporary happiness and satisfaction, things that I often complain about or get frustrated with. I AM ON MY WAY to do the WILL OF GOD. To go and love what society deems "unloveable", the poor, the smelly, the hungry, the sick, the lost, the broken, the hurting, the lonely, the _________. After I slap some sillyness outta my thinking, I realize that obeying God is the most rewarding thing to do, the most satisfying, the most gratifying, the most fulfilling! SO HECK YAH I'll give up 40 some days to do my best at serving and trusting God the whole way!

Last week I ventured down to Kansas for a week of 'preparation" called "O-Week". (Orientation week) Although I can't go into detail about all that goes on down there (so that it's the best possible experience for anyone else that gets to experience it when they attend O-week), God rocked my world, as well as the Malawi team. I can't even put into words what that week teaches you. Jeepers creepers it was nuts.

Here's a sweet line that I came across during that week: "Most people think that being in the middle of God's will is the safest place to be. But rather, being in the middle of God's will is the BEST place to be." Meaning, God doesn't promise that obeying Him will be safe, fluffy, protected, peaceful, easy, enjoyable, free from error, frustrations, etc..........but He does promise He won't ever leave you, that if you let Him, He'll refine you to become closer to Him and more like Him.

When we hit Malawi, here is a very generalized, very vague- list/description of our itinerary (it's from our Gospel link contact and he's very brief as you'll see):

June 8ish- Land in Malawi

June 8-12: Staying with Booker the national director. We'll go to schools and do other outreach things with them.

June 12- 19: We'll be at the Gospellink Training Center in Suluwi

June 19-July 9 We'll go south to be with Thomas and his orphans and build the rice mill/shelter.

July 10-14: Camping/outreach. (spreading the good news!)

July 15: Departure for Iowa!

Doesn't give ya much, huh? HA! More to come when I return I guess!!
For our trip, we are able to be very open about why we're there. We don't have to hide our Bibles or whisper the name of Jesus, or be too afraid or so to speak of being persecuted for Christianity being illegal or anything. Does that make sense?
Here is a little tip we received from our Gospellink contact, "I would spend the next few weeks praying and preparing to share specific life messages. People need to hear how God has worked in your life in different areas of commitment or surrender. Often Africans think that people like us who live in the USA have no problems and no trials. Of course the opposite is true, so sharing about your personal sufferings reaches into their life. They have sicknesses, they have divorce and broken families. They need to hear answers that God has. Be prepared to share."


 Kind of interesting huh? So be praying for that.......as well that these 8 values I took from "O-week" would be things I would cling to while being gone: Loyalty, Integrity, Worship, Flexibility, Trust in God, Initiative, Servant's heart, Team player. 


Those probably make no sense to you other than the obvious, but lift those up to our Heavenly Father for my heart/team while there, God will know what you're talking about!! :)


ps- pray for my Beau and his honkin heart that will be missing me, just not as much as I will be missing HIM! :) Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?!?! 

love to ALL

little by little....

Woah baby.

My life is very quickly becoming busier than I ever thought was possible for this old- rickety body of mine! ;) But, I can’t complain. Sometimes I really want to, trust me. I feel exhausted every single night when I eventually get to my big comfy large bed, and it’s a struggle to get out of my warm cozy covers.

But man-oh-man is GOD doing WORK. I am finding out more and more what the six weeks in Malawi will look like. There are six of us on the team, one of which has already been to Malawi a year ago, so its so great to hear and learn about what it will be like, because I reallllly don’t like the ‘unknown’. Kind of a control freak, it will be a miracle if I am surprised someday when my future husband gets down on one knee- and I truly am blown out of the water, not expecting it. HA!!! I just like knowing what my days bring, so I can knock everything I gotta do, and be prepared for- OUT! (God still has a lot of work in me….clearly!)

A few other random facts- 

• We will be sleeping in tents. Yes, a tent. Like- a camping tent. 

• We will be eating a looooooooot of rice and beans

• The weather in June-July will be comfortable, not blazing hot, but warm enough to wear summery dresses, shorts, skirts, tanks, etc. (It’s their winter season) It will be chilly at night and in the early mornings.

• Our plane ride = 20+ straight hours. (Can’t wait for THAT one) 

• Chichewa is their language. Again, this language is also missing from the Rosetta Stone material. Bummer. However, I will be doing my BEST at preparing before we get there to make my time there the most effective. So right now, the gift of becoming bilingual in Chichewa, is on my prayer list! hahaha

Three of the six weeks we will be there will be at the Leatha Orphanage. Our major task there is building a rice mill for the orphange in order to start to enable them to gain some revenue, to where they are less dependent on our support here in the states. The nearest rice mill is 20km away, so this will be great for travel reasons, and for others who live near by to have a closer means of purchasing food. We will also be doing a lot of Bible school type activities and outreach, just serving and loving on people. Spreading the great news of Jesus’ love and sacrifice for us- the hope we can all have in Him for eternity by living for HIM! WOO!

I feel so blessed to be doing work for our Jesus! In preperation for our trip, we will be putting on a “March for Malawi” in March, a 5k race/walk to raise money for the trip and supplies we will need. Pretty stoked!

So, this is all I really know as of yet- I’ll keep ya’ll updated the more news I get! I’m getting jittery just thinking about it…..

119 DAYS!

More than a "cross-off"....

So, a LOT has happened in a WEEKs worth of time! I can hardly catch my breath really. That’s okay though. It’s an exciting, anticipating, try to be patient time- it’s so neat when you’re in a time of growing, and waiting- knowing GOD IS DOING SOMETHING. GOD IS MOVING! My attitude and prayer has been something along the lines of Chris Tomlin’s newest song blaring out there on the radio….or is that just my car it’s blaring in? His lyrics go like this-

Where you go, I'll go

Where you stay, I'll stay

When you move, I'll move

I will follow...



All your ways are good

All your ways are sure

I will trust in you alone

Higher than my sight

High above my life

I will trust in you alone



Where you go, I'll go

Where you stay, I'll stay

When you move, I'll move

I will follow you

Who you love, I'll love

How you serve I'll serve

If this life I lose, I will follow you

I will follow you



Light unto the world

Light unto my life

I will live for you alone

You're the one I seek

Knowing I will find

All I need in you alone, in you alone



In you there's life everlasting

In you there's freedom for my soul

In you there  is joy, unending joy

and I will follow

            I couldn’t help but make my favorite parts BIGGER, because this song has been my life’s theme song lately. I think YouTube will kick me off pretty soon, with a message like “I’m sorry you have timed out of your Replay options, please QUIT IT”. Never know!

            Anyway, here’s a little backdrop to WHY this week has been such a time of patience and waiting, and now its all of a sudden the next five months of “Holy cow, what did I get myself into?”. Doesn’t Satan always want us to think that when we commit ourselves to the Lord and the work of His kingdom? HA! (Sorry, too excited to let you rain on God's parade in my life satan...)

The best leader (Jenn) ever giving her bit...

            So a week ago, our connection group was asked if we would be apart of the announcements at The Salt Company (TSC), promoting how AWESOME being in a Connection Group is! 

me shaking and sweating in front of 800+ giving mine....

(WOOOOOOOO! Shout out to all those pretty ladies!) And when Jenn, Heidi, and I met with Jill P. to discuss what we would like to share, she went down the line of the order of what the announcements were. 

The announcement before ours was about the sudden need to fill a spot on the MALAWI summer trip, a girl nonetheless.             My two girls in the connection group kind of looked at me, and spurred me on. They have known my heart’s desire to GO, to go to Africa and DO, do whatever it is GOD would have me do. So I probed Jill for a few more bits of info, because I had not initially applied for this opportunity 3 months previous…..and she began to tell me….and then proceeded to go get the guy heading this search process who also came over and gave me more information. After a quick chat, he told me to “Go home, talk to your boyfriend, your parents, and sleep on it….” HA! I WAS ELATED. How in the world and where in the world did this just come about? LIKE NO WAY! INCREDIBLE. So after our announcement to Salt, I was just itching, and antsy, and jittery to get home and do what Ben said. I was in constant prayer during this service, the drive home, before and after talking to my dad, and that night. Then told Ben, yes- yes sir I AM INTERESTED, tell me the next move. So a week later, after a massive application, an interview, and lots of praying, and not a whole lot of sleep….I received the call on Friday, that if I was still interested (ARE YOU KIDDING?) I had been selected to fit the 6^th slot for the MALAWI TEAM this summer, amongst 3 other girls, and 2 guys from TSC.

So I don’t know EVER SINGLE DETAIL, but what I do know is- we will have an “O” week, or an Orientation week with our team in KS, from May 21-May 27 or so, come back here, then on JUNE 5- JULY 16  we will be in Malawi!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

And readers, guess what!?! Member that post a few days ago? Well take a gander, fourth one down:

·     Serve in Africa- in whatever way Jesus sees fit

Even though this is SUCH a neat opportunity, I think I can already say that as exciting as it is to accomplish something that my heart so greatly desires, and get to “cross it off”, that I want to leave it UNCROSSED, because this won’t be the only time I want to go and do just THAT. I can’t wait to see what He has planned for this experience to serve Him. My prayer is that my heart, eyes, ears, hands, will be ready to soak everything in, to do everything He sets in front of us- that my heart will be preparing the next five months, etc. I just KNOW that God will do so many incredible things for these people we encounter, if not more within my own heart and life. AHHHHHHH! SO EXCITED! 

Seriously, LISTEN TO THIS. It's even more powerful and catchy with music rather than just lyrics, can you imagine? :) 

 God is Good. (Even when my posts are really, way too long.) Be blessed & open to what God may be calling YOU to do today!