Prayers answered, Passports, and Packing

About a month ago, the orphanage owner, who we're friends with, asked if I would travel to Uganda with her on her next trip. In July? I asked for prayer in knowing what to do...and that tickets were higher than normal, and not sure what to do.

Well. Here's the story of how we made the decision to book a round trip ticket to Africa, last night. :) :) :)

That Wednesday, that L asked me, I talked to Beau and he initially didn't say "no", like I thought he would. He just mentioned that we're not fully funded for the adoption and we should take that into consideration. Never once, was I upset with Beau, or wanting to convince him otherwise. I wanted to be unified in our decision. We sought wisdom and council from others, and God's word. We just, prayed. I had a peace either way of going or not going.
That same night Lise asked us to pray about the trip and that she too would be asking the Lord to provide for her ticket, since they were exceptionally high ($2,600).

I also knew that I would NOT go to Africa if her trip fell on a week that I was working. I couldn't justify taking work off to go. So Thursday morning, on the way to work, I prayed, "Lord, would you just make her schedule her trip on a week I AM working- so I don't even have to consider the possibility of going?"

That Thursday night, L called me at 10:30...."Kendra, you'll never believe this. I found out today, I'll be receiving a refund check for about the price of the current tickets! It should be coming in July rather than September! So, it should come the second week of July, and I'll probably book my ticket around July 10th for the last week of July into August...."

You have got to be kidding me. The family I nanny for, will be gone for a solid two weeks for various reasons starting July 26- August 7th. (the last week of July into August!) The thought, "Serioussssssssly, God?"

Now I felt like not only did God NOT answer my prayer, but he was very specific in not answering it- with the timing of the exact dates I was NOT WORKING. Crud. But hello, how are we going to pay for this ticket? SO WE PRAYED SOME MORE. "Lord, please provide if you want me to go. I want to do your will. Just make it clear please, you know I like GREEN MEANS GO answers, BLACK or WHITE, no GRAY....ha!" My friend Laura even said, "Soooo, we too, should pray for a surprise check?" My response was, "Uh, ya. Good luck with that. That's not possible!"

Fast forward to Monday....Beau was gone on a business trip that week, we knew that meant more time to ourselves and away from each other, and encouraged one another to pursue the Lord in his Word and prayer to see what God might reveal to us about this. Anyway, he called me late that night before bed. Out of no where he casually says, "Oh ya, I remembered that I'm due for a bonus. If you make the bonus they are in January and JULY. (not October, or December, etc.) It will be about the cost of a ticket." SAY WHAT?

This. Was. God. I knew it in the deepest part of my being.
This was the Almighty God.

Later that week, I decided to go run some errands. One of the things I decided to do, was make color copies of our passports. They were needed for our dossier paperwork that we will later submit...just thought, might as well get it out of the way. No reason really, and I typically am a PROCRASTINATOR. Well, after they handed me the prints, I realized, and when I say realized, I mean like sick to my stomach, that my passport still had my MAIDEN name on it. Ugh. That doesn't work. OH MY WORD WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!?!?!?!?!?!?!? (all at the printing counter) More money. More time lost. What a headache.

Then it hit me. Was this "random day of errands" not random at all, and very purposeful in this quest of wondering if I was to go to Africa? Nah. It couldn't be. Either way, MY PASSPORT IS WRONG, I CAN'T BOOK TICKETS WITH A WRONG PASSPORT. So I called to see how long it would take to get it fixed...the dude said "Three weeks." I said, "Excuse me, how long did you say?" He said, "Three weeks m'am." Three weeks from when I sent in my passport to be fixed, was July 10th....the day Lise would book her tickets......not such a coincidence in my errand run and deciding to make color copies wayyyyyy in advance, at all.

HEAR YOU LOUD AND CLEAR, LORD. (I'm such a doubting Thomas)

I don't know why You want me to go. But I'll go.

Well, the last three weeks a few things have changed. Lise is no longer able to go in July, and is postponing her trip until September or October. Not such a terrible thing, that may be a crucial time for our adoption process in Uganda around then- it would be great to have someone from the states, over there. A friend approached me and said, "Kendra, would you have pursued this trip if Lise hadn't of asked you?" The answer to that was, NO! She offered the inclination that the Lord may have known, that's what it would have taken for me to even consider this, and for me to GO.

Also, Beau realized that his bonus, after taxes, 401K, etc etc his bonus would be much much less. So bummed. I took these two things as, "Lord, do you NOT want me to go now? These things seem to be saying different? This is turning gray. I hate gray. SHOW ME." (seriously, I'm so desperate for his guidance, it's not even funny.)

I was sharing with someone about the bummer (still thankful for) of Beau's bonus that wasn't what we were quite planning on. This person said, "WOW, well that's great! (uhhhh no it's not?) because my wife and I have been praying about helping you with your ticket. We think you should go and have been praying about it. We'd like to give a portion to your ticket...and with what you've told us, our portion and Beau's bonus- would be the price of your ticket!"

ohhhhhhh myyyyyy lannnnnnta.

So, here I am- all "ready to go"....waiting on my passport. I began thinking if my passport doesn't come on time- I maybe shouldn't go.
My passport came yesterday. July 9th. I JUMPED UP AND DOWN in the street! Ripped that baby open, and knew- okay Lord, I'll go. Now please go before us and help us find a reasonable ticket. I was really struggling with the price of tickets when we looked. Last night Beau and I signed on, and first check- a round trip ticket to Entebbe, Uganda leaving on July 29th- August 7th for $1,212.94.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? (They were $2,600+!!!!!!!)

So there's that.

I will be flying to Uganda. I will be meeting our little man and our little lady.
I will get to hold them, hug them, squeeze them, kiss them, play with them, pray over THEM,  snuggle with them, and LOVE THEM by the time July is over. Praise the Lord. Beau and I are both so united in this, he of course, is so bummed about not getting to go- but glad one of us does! 

I've somewhat struggled a bit with this trip too. Although I get to SEE THEM, and meet our attorney, deal with some paperwork things, etc.....they aren't coming home. A wise adoptive friend/momma told me that even if I didn't get to meet with the attorney, to GO FOR BONDING. 100% Go for the bonding experience, start that attachment and bonding process.

Here I am Lord, send me.

Future little Christiansen's, here I come. :) Momma loves you. Daddy too.

GOD.IS.Sooooooo.GOOD.

So I was cleanin out one of my bookshelves/night stands, and check out what I found :)

This crinkled, bent, wrinkled, torn, not-so-white anymore legal pad with a very long list written on it. 

It's dated from 2008-

when God started getting a hold of my life and using a not-so-hot relationship to show me what HE wanted me to have because HE knew EXACTLY what I needed.

I mean, He knows me best.

I wrote a lot of things that I knew I desired in a man, and a lot of things I dealt with in the past, (present at that time) that I knew I absolutely knew I DID NOT WANT.

Here goes!  

(Warning: this is word for word, explanation point for explanation point)

(another warning: yes, some are very cheesy, slightly unrealistic, etc- but hey, don't hate)

"My Man"

• Godly-man, first and foremost ( I'm SO glad I didn't compromise one this)
• someone who I can be myself with at all hours (well, we fart, wrestle, sing, and make fools of each other in front of the other all the time)
• makes me laugh
• i can make him laugh
• my best friend
• honest- trustworthy above all else
• Romantic- doesn't mind, actually enjoys, going out of his way to make me feel special (Beau's a PRO at this, flowers, treats, etc allllll the time)
• thinks I'm beautiful (pretty, gorgeous, you name it- he tells me, make-up/sweats etc)
• love notes!! love letters, whatever (you should SEE my planner, bathroom mirror, car)
• able to tell him anything (You don't even wanna know)
• he can tell me anything (see above)
• PDA! (appropriate) haha (by this, i meant holding hands wherever we're headed private or public)
• loves to cuddle, snuggle, hold hands, kiss, anytime! (even MORE than I do)
• knows what he has when he has me (never ceases to tell me how blessed he feels by the Lord that he found me) WOW!
• adopt kids from Africa (he said he'd never even considered it before meeting me, or before becoming a believer- and now he's okay with or without biological children. This is a HUGE difference from my previous relationship and the things he would say about adoption, or the race of what I'm so passionate about. Unbelievable- God is SO GOOD)
• can take my romanticism, haha (he LOVES IT)
• can cook, because I can't (we're working on this one- our meals consist of eggs, toast, cereal, chicken breasts, and the occasional grilled cheese)
• fits in with and respects my family (they love him more than they do me- that's NOT an exaggeration)
• faithful. (can't even describe just HOW faithful he is- he's done so well with making me feel so secure- compared to the 'past')
• holds me whether I'm crying/in a bad mood or happy mood
• he can never tell me how much he loves me, too much! (I think these are the most words used in his vocabulary each day)
• can be a little jealous :) (don't get me started!)
• "ride" together!!! (By this- I'm a HUGE motorcycle guru..I shake with excitement about Harley's and going on rides. Although when I met Beau he had a "crotch-rocket", he's not opposed to a Harley falling into our hands someday to replace the one he sold for our future!)
• wants me, all of me, forever, everyday!
• HE MAKES AN EFFORT
• Selflessness (most selfless person I know)
• wants whats best for me
• loves unconditionally ( an incredible example of Christ in this sense)
• doesn't yell, raise voice, controls temper (we're big on forgiveness for raised voices, we're human)
• meet 1/2 way- compromise!
• i'm the ONLY one he desires
• appreciates my thoughtfulness (he's SO thankful and always tells me thank you)
• determined, motivated (dedicated to anything he's involved with: work, Men's group, church, Salt, appointments, dates, etc.)
• strong-willed, not too stubborn, yet passive :) (he's THE PERFECT COMBO- seriously, be jealous)
• protective :) (I always tell him I feel so secure, protected, and safe when I'm with him/near him)
• not afraid to show his feelings, open
• loves and respects his family, and CHRIST
• makes time for us, and God (if we were the only two people left on Earth, he'd be ELATED!)
• " a couple who prays together, stays together"
• never go to bed angry
• communication! (thank goodness for unlimited text/minutes- that's all I'll say)
• follows through with what he says he's going to do
• kisses me on the forehead 
• excited to see me and misses me when we're apart (2nd most used phrase in our relationship: "I miss you baby, even though it's only been 24 hours!)
• cares about my feelings, emotions, opinions
• loves me and shows me
• he trusts me above anyone else (other than God) 
• confident but not cocky!
• says what he means and means what he says
• to be the only one either one of us wants to fall asleep next to, or call at the end of the night or when we wake up each morning (it's sickening, I know, but every night/morning we're the last/first to start the day. Every. Day.)
• opens the door :) (I've let him off the hook for this one, but he does, and did)
• He- pursues me!
• doesn't name call
• doesn't seek revenge

The ones in red, are just details of Mr. Beau, BUT seriously, HE. IS. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. OF. THESE. THINGS. 

that I wrote down over three years ago- before I met Beau-Beau! 

MAN DOES GOD KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING OR WHAT! 

(and knows exactly what I NEED?!?!!?!?!) 

MY GOODNESS. 

This silly list, blows......my........mind.

I'm trying to imagine what God was thinking when I sat on a nasty couch in eastern Iowa that night, writing this through tears...hahaha, laughing MAYBE? a SLY little smile? 

What a sovereign reminder to who He is and how GREAT He is, and how thankful I am for His faithfulness and direction, and most of all- the BLESSING HE'S GIVEN TO ME through BEAU!

I CAN'T WAIT TO MARRY HIM! :)

 

more than a lover...

It's TRUE! 

He's the whole stinkin' package.

Yes, he's my fiance, and he's definitely my lovvvvvver, my soon-to-be husband, forever roommate, future father to our kiddos....

and he also just so happens to be my brother in Christ, 

personal trainer, co-shopper, Tropical Sno-spliter, permanent dinner date, movie critic side-kick,

 motorcycle pilot, prayer partner, pro-bono accountant, Mr, Positive Polly when I'm not, and

my BEST friend.

It's crazy how God knows what's best for you. Like, get real- I thought men like Beau only existed in my all time favorite movies??

You know, these ones:

 

Well, turns out- if you just wait and listen to the One who created you....

He'll provide.

He knows you best.

I'm so thankful for Beau Bradley Christiansen.

Blessed, privileged, grateful, blown away, 

those words don't even do my heart's emotion for him-- justice. Not even close.

As my good 74 year old friend Tom Parker I met in Africa would say,

"I don't love my wife, it's God loving her through me!".

 

Interesting? I thought so too. Think about it.

Man, is that quite a challenge, to love Beau- like GOD LOVES BEAU!

Holy. Buckets.

I know I'll fail at it, I have failed at it. 

I'm just humbly praying and asking God to give me the patience, grace, strength, energy, joy, gentleness, and the self-control to make a choice every day for the rest of my life, 

when it's tough, rough, ugly, out of the 'honeymoon stage', when we run into challenges, disagreements, etc,

to love Beau, God's son, like HE does. 

He deserves it. :)

I'm excited for the challenge, the privilege, the opportunity the Lord's given me to love Beau with my whole entire heart- as best I can here on this earth!

 

AH! I'm so thankful for him- my best friend, my prince, my encourager, the leader that he is, the man that God created him to be in Him!!

 

:)

 

 

 

REWIND to APRIL!

Oh blogger family, have I lost you? Man, I've failed miserably at this blogging thing...on the upside- I didn't fail anyyyyyy of my classes this semester!!! WOOOO! Which is amazing considering the way the month of APRIL WENT and what it brought! SO MANY AWESOME DISTRACTIONS from school! (disclaimer: I have never failed a class in my life, so by claiming that I didn't do that this semester, isn't implying that I have before haaha)

YES, I know it's the month of May, and not for very much longer when I glance ahead at my to-do list of the next few weeks before leaving for Africa. GOODNESS gracious! Anyway, to get my blogging ball bouncing- I'll post a few pictures and a video to sum up the month of April.....details to follow this week. (Promise, I'll get better before my 6-week leave to Malawi and have lots to share upon my return!)

So for starters,
1.) My (then boyfriend) Beau- decided to take the step in obedience in getting BAPTIZED! Here is his video I took! WOOO! Praise the Lord to know this is the result of CHRIST changing HIS LIFE!

2.) Then we spent an awesome weekend of decorating 'spring' cookies with some pretty little ladies that live next door to my parents aka super great friends of ours...their mom and dad are Beau & I's 'mentor couple' that we hang out with to just do life with and be pour into by them as a Christ-like marriage example. They're awesome! So Syd and Mya came over for some cookie decorating and a Tangled party/sleepover!!

party favors!

they didn't mind my lack of baking skills- and decorated the heck outta those cookies!

1 queen bed + 1 twin matress = awesome sleepover!

3.) Easter weekend we had a fantastic Sunday afternoon with family, food, an Easter egg hunt (compliments of my dad), and a fun walk around H-town!

clearly BEFORE the egg hunt started!

made a pit-stop at the park to swing!

4.) Then came one of my days off from a long day of classes, work, meetings, and church activities- so Beau and I planned to hang out that day. He'd been wanting to go on a picnic for some time now so we grabbed some Panera-to-go (our faaave place to eat) and headed to a park in Ames for our version of a picnic!

yep, here we are- haha we're really flashy, can't ya tell?

THEN......

I know, I know, this is an AWFUL picture, but the "black box" effect is what I'm looking for here....because Mr. Beau whipped this pretty little thing out in the middle of our picnic!!!!

So YOU GUESSED it! We're ENGAGED. I'M ENGAGED TO THE ABSOLUTE LOVE OF MY LIFE, MY BEST FRIEND, A MAN OF GOD, THE MAN OF MY DREAMS, 

THE ONE 

THE ONLY

BEAU BRADLEY CHRISTIANSEN!! 

and I COULDN'T BE MORE HAPPY!

SO, the calls were made, the guest list has been compiled, the details discussed, and wedding planning is under way! I only have a few weeks of planning the major things before leaving for Malawi, but details of how he popped the question will come later, as well as more Africa tidbits, and what May

has brought so far! 

For now, I'm giving thanks to Jesus for ALL THAT HE HAS BLESSED ME WITH in the wonderful month of April that will no doubt continue for the rest of my life....I am so undeserving of his love, mercy, and blessings....thank you Jesus!

the Jar

The thought of what this post is about, gets me all jittery inside. To some, might be just silliness. But, I'm serious about as seriousness can get, when I tell you about my Jar. 

aside from my messy shelf and Passport (why its here?) and just a few of my FRIENDS seasons, (which is pro adoption too) haha

 I've had it forever, and I can't even tell you where I bought it, it says "Girls Night Out". I laugh when I look back and what I probably hoped the money I filled with it would get me, cover at a bar? Maybe a few shots? Pathetic. That left me with an empty jar, and an empty hole in my life. Puke. (probably literally) Disclaimer: we're working on a new Jar. :)

But now, for the past 2 years + I have changed that Jar into my Adoption Jar as we call it. I say 'we' as in Beau and I. I started the Adoption Jar before we even met, but it wasn't until I met Mr. Beau and we got to crushing on each other, did I really get going on it. As in, we put a lot more in it at a faster rate than I did before. My whole life has changed since knowing two people in my life.

1. Jesus
2. Beau 

We put any change we find in our pockets, bottom of my purse, top of the washer/dryer, floor of my car, Menard's floor, the gym, the nasty-snowy-wet parking lots, any money we get "unexpectedly", etc. Actually, even Beau's roommate asked why I kept asking if the change on Beau's coffee table was his or Nick's. I said, "Well, for our adoption Jar!". He laughed, and then said- "For real? You can have it. Wait, I want the quarters, but you can have the rest. This means I can be the "god parent", right?"
HAHA. Whatever that means.

Even though we both have gobs and gobs of student loans to pay off before or whilest we pursue an adoption, its happening. I've wanted to since I was 12 years old. Kerrie Thompson (now Knudsen) says it was more like 8-9 years old, but who knows. Either way, I was young. I can't even tell you why- I don't know anyone that has adopted until the last few years of my life. But nothing scares be away, money maybe- but God work's that stuff out when you obey Him, how long it takes? Maybe, but some agencies are 8-9 months, that's about as long as being prego. :) Some ask, what about them being a different color, or loving them the same as one of your own? I can't answer with full knowledge, because, well- HELLO, I haven't had the opportunity of either. BUT- I'm telling you, this desire GOD HAS PUT IN MY HEART, hasn't died off what-so-ever. I have no worries. Stick to Him, and what else can I ask for? He never said it'd be easy.

To come across a man that God has put into my life, that ALSO has a burning desire to adopt- is an answer to prayer. Literally. I have record of it. That my future husband, would want to do the same as my heart's desire. I received a text from my beau tonight saying this- "I know this won't happen, but even if we didn't get married, I would STILL adopt!...God has put it in my heart and I WILL adopt kids from Africa someday." 

I responded with a- " :) please don't ever say that again" and here are his string of responses...

"I know, but I'm saying it's not just because of you that I want to do this, I truly want to, and God has really given me a heart for the orphans, Babe, if we adopt like a 4-5 year old, chances are he/she is alive! Somewhere in Africa. Right now! We should start praying for them. Makes me kinda sad that I can't just get them now and take care of them their whole life..."

How. Blessed. Am. I. 
and he's right, it's never too early to start praying for the plan God has in store for either of us, together or not. God is good. 


Here is a video that got me on fire tonight that just fuels the fire inside me....WATCH THIS!

 

if this doesn't work, which it won't for me, search "Lucy Lane's Gotcha Day" video on YouTtube...or visit http://weloveourlucy.blogspot.com/where it's on the right side....she has a busy blog so keep an eye out. :D

 


 Thank you Jesus- my life is yours. Can't wait. 

love day...

Yesterday was Valentine's Day, and after my day of work-class-work- my Man and I started our festivities! It was quite the process, and not your ordinary sequence of events, but that's the fun of it, right?

Yes, we're crazy to attempt a sit-down dinner at the Olive Garden on THE Valentine's night. You see, we as "crushes" last year ventured out to Olive Garden in Des Moines on Vday- now that there's one in Ankeny, we're doubly excited! Beau called at around 4:00 when he got off work in Ankeny to see the wait time- there wasn't! Sweet!

So he went home and showered and got ready, then called OG again- 1hr and 45 min wait. So he booked it down to Ankeny while I was at work and put our name in, temporarily borrowed the little buzzer, and drove back to Huxley to pick me up after I was all ready! What a sweet, go-the-extra-mile guy, huh!?!?

While he was driving laps to and fro Ankeny, I walked into my house and found THESE

Aren't they GORGEOUS, they were the biggest arrangement of flowers I've ever seen!

My. Favorite. Flower. (which is a bummer for future wedding flower reference, I believe they're on the 'pricier' side of flowers)

this vase, is a mini-pool- THAT BIG. My dad I think had a little heart attack walking into these, and jokingly asked Beau if he could put my MOM's name on them after we left, before she got home....AKA- my man, showed him up, wayyyyyy bad. HA!

Okay, I'm spoiled. Rotten.

Anyway, I ripped myself away from these puppies, and got ready so when Beau got back, we could hop in the car to head to OG to indulge in salad, bread sticks, chicken alfredo, and a tasty glass of wine!

 Here we are- ready to walk out the door, I wasn't allowed to wear my heels in this picture, because unknowingly, they made me a teensy-bit taller than Mr. Beau. He wasn't a fan. So we need to go shopping for some shoes that make him taller. (my heels were too cute, and too cheap to pass them up/not wear them)

Look at HIM! Whew! "Look sharp, be sharp" as Menards would tell us! ;)

All in all, we had a fantastic night- we learn new things about each other and how we each work, and how we work TOGETHER in every situation that we encounter. Man, relationship stuff can be touuuuugh! Wouldn't trade it for anything, he brings out the absolute best in me! I thank and praise Jesus for Beau loving me like he does, it's not easy, Lord knows I know that! After all, its only because of Jesus, and how much He loves me, that He's blessing ME with this gift of LOVE with Beau.

Someday- I'll let you all in, on HOW perfect this man of God is for me. But until next time- tell someone YOU love, appreciate, and cherish- just how much you love, appreciate, and cherish THEM! You don't need it to be the 14th day in February for that....

The Heart and Soul of My Passions...

Well, it’s been more than ‘tomorrow’ from my last post. Bummer. This is harder than I thought. This current 18 credits + 2 jobs + gym at 5:30am with Molly Peterson + relationship with a boyfriend thing, can tire a girl out, which = early to bed on accident most nights. This shall be interesting.

BUT in the meantime, what is one night’s sleep loss to continue this ever-lingering pursuit of what I’m pursuing. These things are quite simple you see, most, no more unique then some of your own! When I stop and think, and reallllly get to thinking- its about what my life consists of. What am I DOING HERE?

What is the point of all of these college credits and students loans, well that’s the first thing. I’m currently passionately pursuing a degree in Elementary Education- with an emphasis on Social Studies, English/Language Arts, a Reading endorsement, and a little coaching on the side. Yes, my career for the ever pending life of mine, is to teach and inspire, and ‘change the world’ through snotty-nosed, rambunctious, random, exuberant elementary students. I have 3 semesters left at Iowa State until I can pursue that career full time! CAN’T WAIT, because I am sick of mixing PAINT! (yes, at Menards)

Haitian school, the red curtain is their "wall" to split the two classrooms.

another school, another school dress code color, in front of their school house!

A relationship with a boy, who has become and is continuing to pursue Christ, and strives to be a man of God, is another thing I passionately pursue. It just so happens that this boy is the love of my life -the man that I’ve waited so patiently for, HA right Nicole?- for God to bring into my life. To lead me the way Christ would have him lead, to encourage, love, life me up, respect me, and treat me like a Kate Middleton. ;) I pursue this relationship alongside him because I too, want to be the best partner for him today, and a whole ‘lotta’ days after today, and that our relationship would be better TOGETHER, than apart, and that we can both bring glory to our Savior’s name because of the work he has done, is doing, and WILL do in our lives. I can. Not. Wait…..to see what He will do with our lives. 

House divided- for now. It won't be long till that massive blanket I made him will be a two-sided black & gold blankie.

I passionately pursue the future adoption of kids from Africa. Why Africa? I really can’t tell you. My heart is just- there. But I CAN tell you that when I was 12 years old, I came across a People magazine with Michael Jordon on the cover (he has nothing to do with this, but just keep reading) and inside there was an article about something….I’m not sure what. But inside of that something article, was a little side bubble, you know, like a little excerpt- about adoption in Ethiopia. I don’t know if there is any significance to Ethiopia, but I cut that puppy out. And I stuck it to my bulletin board, and there it stuck, for- who knows how long. It got pretty brittle from being exposed to the sunshine in my room I believe, but you get the idea. I’m interested to see if I have that tucked away somewhere, I’m a weirdo and keep things like that. Hmmm…. Ever since, I have been set in stone to adopt my very own children from Africa. That is, God willing. 

someday...

Passionately pursuing doing some kind of ‘work’ or serving in Africa, has always been a desire of my heart. I don’t even know what that could consist of. Using my ‘degree’ and teach over there, using my hands and building, restoring, hugging, loving, spreading the word of Jesus, whatever and wherever God leads me. I can’t and try not to ever limit the power of Jesus Christ. No sir. ( I am aware, that this is all capable here in the states, in Iowa, in Story County, in H-town as well)

The most important pursuit of my life, is my relationship with Jesus Christ. It’s something that I struggle and strive to do, every single day of my life. It’s not always easy. It’s not always fun, or restful, comfortable, exciting, popular, appealing (to some), desirable, etc. BUT it IS: the most joyful, hopeful, rewarding, fulfilling, blessing, privilege, and my utmost heart’s desire to do. I don’t read my Bible everyday, I am not praying without ceasing like the Bible tells me to be, I don’t respond with the kindest, most loving words, I’m not the most selfless person you’ll ever meet either. I AM, a sinner, thankful, blessed, hope filled, encouraged, uplifted, joyful, and fulfilled through Christ. With out him, I don’t know where I would be, and without what He did on the cross for me, would be lost, miserable, empty, and searching constantly. I am not perfect. I screw up everyday, I get snotty, I get lazy, discouraged, mouthy, sassy, think that I know best, that my way is better, think that I can do it on my own, I worry about what others think about me, worry about my appearance and weight, I speed, I have done some pretty immoral, and impure things in my life…..but at the end of the day, at the end of my life- I want to look back and know that I lived my life as if there was a LORD & SAVIOR, that I accepted his forgiveness, and that I did my best at serving Him, living for Him, and striving to be the face of Jesus so that others knew my love for Him through my love for THEM.

….and my favorite one……

My Jesus, my Father, my Lord, my Savior, my Redeemer, my Maker, my GOD- PASSIONATELY PURSUES ME, day, after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, until eternity- because HE. LOVES. ME. He sees me as his daughter, as his prized possession, more of a princess than Kate Middleton will ever be, and most of all- clean and white in his SIGHT because I have accepted the greatest gift One could ever offer….a relationship with HIM! 

Thank you Jesus. I love you. 

the link to the one i really wanted to post...but not everyone's hearts and stomachs are capable of taking that in at any given moment, i encourage you to 'pursue' this version as well. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BetW_6vtNU