FAQ: Our Adoption

FAQ: Our Adoption Story

Adoption is a very intriguing and interesting topic. I've always been fascinated by other family's stories. I loved to hear tidbits from their stories, experiences, advice, trials and triumphs, and how God worked in their lives. I'm still just as interested now that we're in our own adoption story. I thought I would compile a list of questions that we get asked the most. 

(I'll try to update it as much as I can, as we go) 

What adoption agency are you using?
An agency from West Des Moines, Iowa (you can contact me personally if you'd like more information)

Where are you adopting from?
a lovely little country in Africa (you can contact me personally if you'd like more information)

Why this specific country?
You'll have to read our story (whenever I get that written down, I'll provide a link here eventually) to understand that. :)

How many children are you adopting? 
Two.
Our son will be three years old in August 2014.
Our daughter will be a year in November 2014.

Are they biological siblings? 
No. But they will be siblings. :)

Why two children? 
We have plenty of room in our home and our hearts to unconditionally love two children.

How much does it cost to adopt them? 
Well, every agency, country, situation is different. Our cost for two children from start to when they walk in the door will be about $42,000-$44,000. (this is 'high' compared to some countries, and 'low' compared to others. They're all different.)

When are they coming home?
It's May 2014 as I type this, we've been told that it's likely by the end of this year (2014). We believe in the power of the Almighty God, and this could be different. Longer or shorter. :) We're obviously praying for it to be shorter. I'm specifically praying that we get to celebrate her first birthday WITH them!

Do you have to travel? 
Yes, we will have to be in country for approximately 2-3 weeks. (of course, it could be shorter or longer) We have to appear before the court, and also pick up their passports during this trip.

Are you having biological kids? 
That's not really up to us. :) Adoption, was our 'Option A'.

What do your family and friends think about your adoption?
We have THE MOST supportive family, friends, church, connection group, and work places as we go through this process. We are immensely blessed!

What happened to them? (I think this question refers to how they came to live in an orphanage)
We haven't discussed how or if we're telling their stories. On one hand, I think it's 'their' story to tell, but on the other hand, I am in awe of God's sovereignty and His hand in their stories. We'll see. (We have shared with our close family and friends.)

How can we help? What can we do?
Pray with us!!
Pray that God continues to protect our marriage, the children's health and safety (they are in WONDERFUL care currently)
Pray that God provides for our exact financial need for the adoption process!
Pray for our case worker within the USCIS who will be handling our files- promptly, efficiently, honestly, and however else you feel led.
Pray for FAVOR on our case for these two children. We don't deserve it, but we do ask of Him.
Pray that God will bless our family with bonding and attachment when they come home, even now while we're away from one another. 

Do you have a way to donate? 
Yes! Just not electronically. HA!

- Donate a financial gift
(Lots of options: you can contact me for an address to send it to, or if you'd like the name of the benefit fund we have set up, you can deposit a donation at your local Wells Fargo bank as well. Yes, even if you don't bank there. We can also fundraise through our local church.)

- Donate cans/bottles.
Every nickle and dime help! We will pick them up if you're in the surrounding area!

- Donate frequent flier miles to help in our trips to Africa and back!
Our flights will cost between $1,300-$1,500 for us round trip each. Little girl should be free, being she's under two years old. Little man will also have a one way ticket- HOME. :) 


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
There it is- a start to some of the questions we're most frequently asked. If you have other questions, we're pretty much an open book! Feel free to ask! Even if we don't end up putting the Q&A on our blog...we can certainly chat privately as well! Certain things we will keep private for now. (pictures, names, name of country, name of agency, etc.)

We get it- adoption is 'foreign' to so many---and we want to help spread the word about how incredible it is, the challenges, joys, why we started this process, and share how God's hand is all over it!

You'll Come.

Three of my favorite Christian worship artists consist of: Chris Tomlin, Tenth Avenue North, Sanctus Real, and of course- HILLSONG. I'm thankful that our church sings cover songs to Hillsong QUITE often, and when I walked in to church Sunday morning, upon hearing this song- my soul was stirred to an ever-pending issue that's constantly on my heart and in the back of my thoughts every. single. day.

If you know me- you know how heavy the passion of adoption (specificially in Africa since the age of 12. Don't ask me why) in my future is to me and my now husband. I'm so thankful for the desire God has laid on Beau's heart for adoption as well. Hallelujah.

If you know me- you also know that I went to Africa this previous summer for a few months. Possibly, the stories behind that trip, the heart changes, the fuel that fed my heart for nations further.

AND if you read this blog- you've "heard" about "my" two loves that are over in Malawi, Africa. My two, 6-year old twins.

meet: Foster

Meet: Siyeni aka Sammi

I don't know much else to say about the way my heart and mind process the days being with them and now the 147 days being away from them- but I try when I journal to my Savior, who has the whole world in His hands. And although I DO know that and trust that, I still want more, to be more, to ask Him to allow me to be in their lives still- to fill that void they have of why they're in an orphanage.

where there is one, there's the other :) 

 

 

EVERY night occurrence. So much so, that if one was in my lap, the other would tell another orphan to translate to me, that they wanted "up" too. :) I didn't work out enough before going to Malawi to hold them both in a plastic lawn chair without my arms trembling. :)

love it!

Coloring!

Ohhhhh Sammi

They loved my iPod.

and morning back scratches in my tent....

can you say mischievous?

Goofballs.

Just, stinkin LOVE THEM.

HIV testing...taking it like a champ...(Sammi)

Tough guy. and HIV NEGATIVE. PRAISE THE LORD.

little turd.

show me your picture!! Man, can you believe he colored those people all by himself?? ;)

pyro sam and his scar, and their salvation bracelets we made!! Oh how I pray they'll know the depth of those someday!

Fosterman

Sam.man.

Anyway, as vulnerable as this is- here is an excerpt from one of those nights and what races in and out of my thought process.

 12.3.11

Heavenly Father,

I find myself coming to You when I’m alone and in the quietness of my home- and my, how ‘home’ has been so different over the last 6 months. Whether it was the tent under the ‘Malawian stars’, the bed in my parent’s basement, or now the home my husband and I now share.

It’s the quiet, that for some reason is when those boys flood my mind. The memories of their laughter, dancing and singing in Chichewa, the way the dirt would cloud up under their scarred, rough little feet while running around the orphanage, how they grab chunks of ‘nsima’ and dip it in the juice of little sardine-like stinky fish, how they take off their shirts and roll them into a ball for a pillow each night and lay on a reed mat on a dirt floor and spoon each other to keep warm. These scenes play over and over endlessly in my head. Pictures and videos I took only make the tears flow harder. That’s all I do when I think of the little twin brothers whose day consists of running around with each other, looking out for one another, going to school, and visiting their grandparents.

 I wonder how their days are in school. What they’re doing at the exact hour and moment I happen to think of them- and pray. I wonder if they think about and miss their mom and dad. I wonder if they like living at Thomas’. I wonder what they’ll be like as they grow older. Will they still be inseparable twin brothers? What would their profession be in Malawi? Will they become husbands and fathers? What’s their relationship like with You? Do they know you like I know You? I pray that they do. And always will. Are you tired of me praying my nightly repetitive tear-filled prayers? How can I better pray for them and lift them up to You? Show me. Will I ever see those precious boys again? Do they remember me? Did they and do they, or could You- let them know how much I love them? How much I miss them?

Father God, can you fill this void in my heart and give me peace about them? Will you clearly show me Your ways? I pray that my eyes and heart will be mindful of You and your Mighty plans. Your ways are perfect. Your ways are always good and perfect.  Amen, and Goodnight. 

 I have decided
I have resolved
To wait upon You Lord
My rock and Redeemer
Shield and reward
I'll wait upon You Lord

As surely as the sun will rise
You'll come to us
Certain as the dawn appears

You'll come
Let Your glory fall as You respond to us
Spirit rain
Flood into our thirsty hearts again
You'll come
You'll come

We are not shaken
We are not moved
We wait upon You Lord
Mighty deliverer
Triumph and truth
We wait upon You Lord


Chains be broken
Lives be healed
Eyes be opened
Christ is revealed

As heart broken as I am over their situation and how I somehow feel as if I've abandoned them since leaving Malawi after such a short time of flooding them with love- this song, the morning after tearfully crying out to God for them....provided the confidence in Christ I so often need reminded of. Whether they live in Malawi forever and I never see them again- I pray that someday because they put their faith in Him...their little lives will be healed, their eyes would be open to Him, and if we all wait patiently on the Lord with our trust in him as our Savior- HE IS COMING and there will be no more hurt or pain or hunger....and it's all for HIS GLORY anyway. And for that, I'll be patiently trying my best to wait patiently on Him and His plans.....HE KNOWS BEST. Maybe He's already used me in someway for their lives that I'm unaware of. But man, those little squirts sure did wreck me :) 

BOO!/WORK IT!

best.friends.

our last day.

last night putting them to bed....sharing a 'bed'/mat....nakey. spooning. praying for them/hugs/kisses. and lots of tears.

if only they knew :)

Join with me in praying for these boys, and millions of other orphan children, and selfishly- for my heart as well. Thanks brothers and sisters. 

Romans 1:9-19a (NLT)

God knows how often I pray for you. Day and night I bring you and your needs in prayer to God

the Jar

The thought of what this post is about, gets me all jittery inside. To some, might be just silliness. But, I'm serious about as seriousness can get, when I tell you about my Jar. 

aside from my messy shelf and Passport (why its here?) and just a few of my FRIENDS seasons, (which is pro adoption too) haha

 I've had it forever, and I can't even tell you where I bought it, it says "Girls Night Out". I laugh when I look back and what I probably hoped the money I filled with it would get me, cover at a bar? Maybe a few shots? Pathetic. That left me with an empty jar, and an empty hole in my life. Puke. (probably literally) Disclaimer: we're working on a new Jar. :)

But now, for the past 2 years + I have changed that Jar into my Adoption Jar as we call it. I say 'we' as in Beau and I. I started the Adoption Jar before we even met, but it wasn't until I met Mr. Beau and we got to crushing on each other, did I really get going on it. As in, we put a lot more in it at a faster rate than I did before. My whole life has changed since knowing two people in my life.

1. Jesus
2. Beau 

We put any change we find in our pockets, bottom of my purse, top of the washer/dryer, floor of my car, Menard's floor, the gym, the nasty-snowy-wet parking lots, any money we get "unexpectedly", etc. Actually, even Beau's roommate asked why I kept asking if the change on Beau's coffee table was his or Nick's. I said, "Well, for our adoption Jar!". He laughed, and then said- "For real? You can have it. Wait, I want the quarters, but you can have the rest. This means I can be the "god parent", right?"
HAHA. Whatever that means.

Even though we both have gobs and gobs of student loans to pay off before or whilest we pursue an adoption, its happening. I've wanted to since I was 12 years old. Kerrie Thompson (now Knudsen) says it was more like 8-9 years old, but who knows. Either way, I was young. I can't even tell you why- I don't know anyone that has adopted until the last few years of my life. But nothing scares be away, money maybe- but God work's that stuff out when you obey Him, how long it takes? Maybe, but some agencies are 8-9 months, that's about as long as being prego. :) Some ask, what about them being a different color, or loving them the same as one of your own? I can't answer with full knowledge, because, well- HELLO, I haven't had the opportunity of either. BUT- I'm telling you, this desire GOD HAS PUT IN MY HEART, hasn't died off what-so-ever. I have no worries. Stick to Him, and what else can I ask for? He never said it'd be easy.

To come across a man that God has put into my life, that ALSO has a burning desire to adopt- is an answer to prayer. Literally. I have record of it. That my future husband, would want to do the same as my heart's desire. I received a text from my beau tonight saying this- "I know this won't happen, but even if we didn't get married, I would STILL adopt!...God has put it in my heart and I WILL adopt kids from Africa someday." 

I responded with a- " :) please don't ever say that again" and here are his string of responses...

"I know, but I'm saying it's not just because of you that I want to do this, I truly want to, and God has really given me a heart for the orphans, Babe, if we adopt like a 4-5 year old, chances are he/she is alive! Somewhere in Africa. Right now! We should start praying for them. Makes me kinda sad that I can't just get them now and take care of them their whole life..."

How. Blessed. Am. I. 
and he's right, it's never too early to start praying for the plan God has in store for either of us, together or not. God is good. 


Here is a video that got me on fire tonight that just fuels the fire inside me....WATCH THIS!

 

if this doesn't work, which it won't for me, search "Lucy Lane's Gotcha Day" video on YouTtube...or visit http://weloveourlucy.blogspot.com/where it's on the right side....she has a busy blog so keep an eye out. :D

 


 Thank you Jesus- my life is yours. Can't wait. 

little by little....

Woah baby.

My life is very quickly becoming busier than I ever thought was possible for this old- rickety body of mine! ;) But, I can’t complain. Sometimes I really want to, trust me. I feel exhausted every single night when I eventually get to my big comfy large bed, and it’s a struggle to get out of my warm cozy covers.

But man-oh-man is GOD doing WORK. I am finding out more and more what the six weeks in Malawi will look like. There are six of us on the team, one of which has already been to Malawi a year ago, so its so great to hear and learn about what it will be like, because I reallllly don’t like the ‘unknown’. Kind of a control freak, it will be a miracle if I am surprised someday when my future husband gets down on one knee- and I truly am blown out of the water, not expecting it. HA!!! I just like knowing what my days bring, so I can knock everything I gotta do, and be prepared for- OUT! (God still has a lot of work in me….clearly!)

A few other random facts- 

• We will be sleeping in tents. Yes, a tent. Like- a camping tent. 

• We will be eating a looooooooot of rice and beans

• The weather in June-July will be comfortable, not blazing hot, but warm enough to wear summery dresses, shorts, skirts, tanks, etc. (It’s their winter season) It will be chilly at night and in the early mornings.

• Our plane ride = 20+ straight hours. (Can’t wait for THAT one) 

• Chichewa is their language. Again, this language is also missing from the Rosetta Stone material. Bummer. However, I will be doing my BEST at preparing before we get there to make my time there the most effective. So right now, the gift of becoming bilingual in Chichewa, is on my prayer list! hahaha

Three of the six weeks we will be there will be at the Leatha Orphanage. Our major task there is building a rice mill for the orphange in order to start to enable them to gain some revenue, to where they are less dependent on our support here in the states. The nearest rice mill is 20km away, so this will be great for travel reasons, and for others who live near by to have a closer means of purchasing food. We will also be doing a lot of Bible school type activities and outreach, just serving and loving on people. Spreading the great news of Jesus’ love and sacrifice for us- the hope we can all have in Him for eternity by living for HIM! WOO!

I feel so blessed to be doing work for our Jesus! In preperation for our trip, we will be putting on a “March for Malawi” in March, a 5k race/walk to raise money for the trip and supplies we will need. Pretty stoked!

So, this is all I really know as of yet- I’ll keep ya’ll updated the more news I get! I’m getting jittery just thinking about it…..

119 DAYS!

More than a "cross-off"....

So, a LOT has happened in a WEEKs worth of time! I can hardly catch my breath really. That’s okay though. It’s an exciting, anticipating, try to be patient time- it’s so neat when you’re in a time of growing, and waiting- knowing GOD IS DOING SOMETHING. GOD IS MOVING! My attitude and prayer has been something along the lines of Chris Tomlin’s newest song blaring out there on the radio….or is that just my car it’s blaring in? His lyrics go like this-

Where you go, I'll go

Where you stay, I'll stay

When you move, I'll move

I will follow...



All your ways are good

All your ways are sure

I will trust in you alone

Higher than my sight

High above my life

I will trust in you alone



Where you go, I'll go

Where you stay, I'll stay

When you move, I'll move

I will follow you

Who you love, I'll love

How you serve I'll serve

If this life I lose, I will follow you

I will follow you



Light unto the world

Light unto my life

I will live for you alone

You're the one I seek

Knowing I will find

All I need in you alone, in you alone



In you there's life everlasting

In you there's freedom for my soul

In you there  is joy, unending joy

and I will follow

            I couldn’t help but make my favorite parts BIGGER, because this song has been my life’s theme song lately. I think YouTube will kick me off pretty soon, with a message like “I’m sorry you have timed out of your Replay options, please QUIT IT”. Never know!

            Anyway, here’s a little backdrop to WHY this week has been such a time of patience and waiting, and now its all of a sudden the next five months of “Holy cow, what did I get myself into?”. Doesn’t Satan always want us to think that when we commit ourselves to the Lord and the work of His kingdom? HA! (Sorry, too excited to let you rain on God's parade in my life satan...)

The best leader (Jenn) ever giving her bit...

            So a week ago, our connection group was asked if we would be apart of the announcements at The Salt Company (TSC), promoting how AWESOME being in a Connection Group is! 

me shaking and sweating in front of 800+ giving mine....

(WOOOOOOOO! Shout out to all those pretty ladies!) And when Jenn, Heidi, and I met with Jill P. to discuss what we would like to share, she went down the line of the order of what the announcements were. 

The announcement before ours was about the sudden need to fill a spot on the MALAWI summer trip, a girl nonetheless.             My two girls in the connection group kind of looked at me, and spurred me on. They have known my heart’s desire to GO, to go to Africa and DO, do whatever it is GOD would have me do. So I probed Jill for a few more bits of info, because I had not initially applied for this opportunity 3 months previous…..and she began to tell me….and then proceeded to go get the guy heading this search process who also came over and gave me more information. After a quick chat, he told me to “Go home, talk to your boyfriend, your parents, and sleep on it….” HA! I WAS ELATED. How in the world and where in the world did this just come about? LIKE NO WAY! INCREDIBLE. So after our announcement to Salt, I was just itching, and antsy, and jittery to get home and do what Ben said. I was in constant prayer during this service, the drive home, before and after talking to my dad, and that night. Then told Ben, yes- yes sir I AM INTERESTED, tell me the next move. So a week later, after a massive application, an interview, and lots of praying, and not a whole lot of sleep….I received the call on Friday, that if I was still interested (ARE YOU KIDDING?) I had been selected to fit the 6^th slot for the MALAWI TEAM this summer, amongst 3 other girls, and 2 guys from TSC.

So I don’t know EVER SINGLE DETAIL, but what I do know is- we will have an “O” week, or an Orientation week with our team in KS, from May 21-May 27 or so, come back here, then on JUNE 5- JULY 16  we will be in Malawi!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

And readers, guess what!?! Member that post a few days ago? Well take a gander, fourth one down:

·     Serve in Africa- in whatever way Jesus sees fit

Even though this is SUCH a neat opportunity, I think I can already say that as exciting as it is to accomplish something that my heart so greatly desires, and get to “cross it off”, that I want to leave it UNCROSSED, because this won’t be the only time I want to go and do just THAT. I can’t wait to see what He has planned for this experience to serve Him. My prayer is that my heart, eyes, ears, hands, will be ready to soak everything in, to do everything He sets in front of us- that my heart will be preparing the next five months, etc. I just KNOW that God will do so many incredible things for these people we encounter, if not more within my own heart and life. AHHHHHHH! SO EXCITED! 

Seriously, LISTEN TO THIS. It's even more powerful and catchy with music rather than just lyrics, can you imagine? :) 

 God is Good. (Even when my posts are really, way too long.) Be blessed & open to what God may be calling YOU to do today!

Bucket List!

Okay, I’m a cheeseball. Total cheeseball, so I’m going to post something reallllly cheesy but its legit. You always think about the things you want to “do with your life” before you die, and I think ever since the movie with Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson came out in 2007, where two terminally ill men escape from a cancer ward and head off on a road trip with a wish list of to-dos before they die., everyone has some sort of -

“Bucket List”

Well, here’s mine: in no particular order

• Marry my best friend

• Go to the Hillsong church in Sydney, Australia

• Raise kids from Africa, to love Jesus even more than I do.

• Serve in Africa- what way Jesus sees fit.

• Own a Harley

• Mend a ‘relationship’ with a parent before I go to Heaven

• Return to NYC 

• Graduate from ISU with my education degree

•  Go for my Masters in EL ED

•   Quit Menards. Quit Menards. Quit Menards. 

•  Have a home with an ‘open door’, where people are always in and out, feel loved, and welcomed…day or night. Seriously, maybe even a real revolving door. ;) 

•   Go to a Hawkeye game in Kinnick stadium.

•  Yearly, family vacations with my very own family. 

•    Become a foster parent

•   Become a Victoria’s Secret model. 

Did you catch that last one? Ha! Because I’m jusssst kidding. Did ya giggle? I’ve dreamed before, but that’s just silly. I’ll just stick to Jillian Michael’s ’30 Day Shred’ in my basement and Ames Racquet & Fitness. 

What are some of YOUR bucket listings?? :) 

The Heart and Soul of My Passions...

Well, it’s been more than ‘tomorrow’ from my last post. Bummer. This is harder than I thought. This current 18 credits + 2 jobs + gym at 5:30am with Molly Peterson + relationship with a boyfriend thing, can tire a girl out, which = early to bed on accident most nights. This shall be interesting.

BUT in the meantime, what is one night’s sleep loss to continue this ever-lingering pursuit of what I’m pursuing. These things are quite simple you see, most, no more unique then some of your own! When I stop and think, and reallllly get to thinking- its about what my life consists of. What am I DOING HERE?

What is the point of all of these college credits and students loans, well that’s the first thing. I’m currently passionately pursuing a degree in Elementary Education- with an emphasis on Social Studies, English/Language Arts, a Reading endorsement, and a little coaching on the side. Yes, my career for the ever pending life of mine, is to teach and inspire, and ‘change the world’ through snotty-nosed, rambunctious, random, exuberant elementary students. I have 3 semesters left at Iowa State until I can pursue that career full time! CAN’T WAIT, because I am sick of mixing PAINT! (yes, at Menards)

Haitian school, the red curtain is their "wall" to split the two classrooms.

another school, another school dress code color, in front of their school house!

A relationship with a boy, who has become and is continuing to pursue Christ, and strives to be a man of God, is another thing I passionately pursue. It just so happens that this boy is the love of my life -the man that I’ve waited so patiently for, HA right Nicole?- for God to bring into my life. To lead me the way Christ would have him lead, to encourage, love, life me up, respect me, and treat me like a Kate Middleton. ;) I pursue this relationship alongside him because I too, want to be the best partner for him today, and a whole ‘lotta’ days after today, and that our relationship would be better TOGETHER, than apart, and that we can both bring glory to our Savior’s name because of the work he has done, is doing, and WILL do in our lives. I can. Not. Wait…..to see what He will do with our lives. 

House divided- for now. It won't be long till that massive blanket I made him will be a two-sided black & gold blankie.

I passionately pursue the future adoption of kids from Africa. Why Africa? I really can’t tell you. My heart is just- there. But I CAN tell you that when I was 12 years old, I came across a People magazine with Michael Jordon on the cover (he has nothing to do with this, but just keep reading) and inside there was an article about something….I’m not sure what. But inside of that something article, was a little side bubble, you know, like a little excerpt- about adoption in Ethiopia. I don’t know if there is any significance to Ethiopia, but I cut that puppy out. And I stuck it to my bulletin board, and there it stuck, for- who knows how long. It got pretty brittle from being exposed to the sunshine in my room I believe, but you get the idea. I’m interested to see if I have that tucked away somewhere, I’m a weirdo and keep things like that. Hmmm…. Ever since, I have been set in stone to adopt my very own children from Africa. That is, God willing. 

someday...

Passionately pursuing doing some kind of ‘work’ or serving in Africa, has always been a desire of my heart. I don’t even know what that could consist of. Using my ‘degree’ and teach over there, using my hands and building, restoring, hugging, loving, spreading the word of Jesus, whatever and wherever God leads me. I can’t and try not to ever limit the power of Jesus Christ. No sir. ( I am aware, that this is all capable here in the states, in Iowa, in Story County, in H-town as well)

The most important pursuit of my life, is my relationship with Jesus Christ. It’s something that I struggle and strive to do, every single day of my life. It’s not always easy. It’s not always fun, or restful, comfortable, exciting, popular, appealing (to some), desirable, etc. BUT it IS: the most joyful, hopeful, rewarding, fulfilling, blessing, privilege, and my utmost heart’s desire to do. I don’t read my Bible everyday, I am not praying without ceasing like the Bible tells me to be, I don’t respond with the kindest, most loving words, I’m not the most selfless person you’ll ever meet either. I AM, a sinner, thankful, blessed, hope filled, encouraged, uplifted, joyful, and fulfilled through Christ. With out him, I don’t know where I would be, and without what He did on the cross for me, would be lost, miserable, empty, and searching constantly. I am not perfect. I screw up everyday, I get snotty, I get lazy, discouraged, mouthy, sassy, think that I know best, that my way is better, think that I can do it on my own, I worry about what others think about me, worry about my appearance and weight, I speed, I have done some pretty immoral, and impure things in my life…..but at the end of the day, at the end of my life- I want to look back and know that I lived my life as if there was a LORD & SAVIOR, that I accepted his forgiveness, and that I did my best at serving Him, living for Him, and striving to be the face of Jesus so that others knew my love for Him through my love for THEM.

….and my favorite one……

My Jesus, my Father, my Lord, my Savior, my Redeemer, my Maker, my GOD- PASSIONATELY PURSUES ME, day, after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, until eternity- because HE. LOVES. ME. He sees me as his daughter, as his prized possession, more of a princess than Kate Middleton will ever be, and most of all- clean and white in his SIGHT because I have accepted the greatest gift One could ever offer….a relationship with HIM! 

Thank you Jesus. I love you. 

the link to the one i really wanted to post...but not everyone's hearts and stomachs are capable of taking that in at any given moment, i encourage you to 'pursue' this version as well. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BetW_6vtNU

Passionately Pursuing WHAT?

Well isn't that a great question! HA! Where in the world to start, right? Well when I was thinking about naming this blog, a zillion things ran through my mind. It's sort of like trying to name a child, you have all this pressure because this blog will have this for the rest of its life! It has to be classy even when it's a grandma blog! (I warned you I wasn't the funniest) No, no I do not have children, so how in the world can I relate to that one?

Well, when I was in Haiti this past March, the mission we were at had a birthing center for women in the city to come and wait in line each day at the gates, begging to be let in to have their child within the mission, with food, water, a limited supply of medical 'needs, and delivering equipment. Can you imagine? We were told the first night we were there that we were free to go down to the birthing center and be lucky enough to witness, and HELP, yes HELP with delivering a baby! A REAL LIVE BABY! That stuff only happens on 911 Emergency shows, or on the TODAY show at a rare occasion. My first instinct was, HA, ya right. Well, into the week, I got really jealous of some of my other team mates that had guts to go down there and witness, AND seriously, catch a baby when it came out! WOW!

Below is the "delivery room"....thank Jesus for the mission and the people that give to have even THESE commodities. The women never had their own room.....

So one night, my friend Megan and I bucked up and went down really late and sat in a room with one of the younger mom-to-be's and waited, and waited, and waited with her (and her mom and sister) while she had just an IV of fluids hooked up to her, on a bed, with a sheet, and her screams. (We'll come back to this at another time, in another blog post, ha) We waited into the late hours of the night/early morning, with no avail. We decided to go to bed, and check on her early in the morning. No progress really. It was impossible to communicate to her our condolences of her pain, and impatience, being that we spoke such different languages. We just prayed that God would soon deliver her from that pain, and that little baby. (To this day I continue to check the Rosetta Stone website to see if they've added Creole to their list of languages to learn in a week or whatever- big thumbs down to that advancement.) Anyway, we went across the hall to the “nursery”. Basically, this is a giant room, with 10-12 beds with moms that just had their babies within the last 2-3 days, laying on a bed, with their baby snuggled next to them. There is no nursery with glass behind it to stare and gaze into your little baby’s eyes and beauty. Most moms don’t have a home, an outfit to dress them in, or adequate food to feed themselves to be able to feed their newborn. It was truly sad. I remember wondering what their life would be like once they stepped out of the mission gates.

While Meg and I walked through here smiling at the new mommas, we called a translator in to help us ask them what their newborn’s names were. We both came across two mom’s that, ready for this? Had not yet named their baby, and asked US to name them. Um. Woah. You think as a girl, growing up you fantasize about what you would name your future children, you make a list, either on paper or a mental note, and you’re set! Right? Doesn’t matter what your future husband thinks, you’ve gotten it taken care of, and these are great names you’ve prepared….well let me tell you. When a mom asks YOU to name HER child, one that I will never see again, and one that I just laid eyes on in the past FIVE minutes. Reality hits you that this is a bigger deal then a list of names you have at home on a sticky note or something.

I tried to shake my head and wave my hand, as in “No, no, no thanks”…like I think youuuu can handle this one. The translator told me that she really wanted me to name her son. It would mean a great deal to her. (I really have no idea why) After pondering, I had always liked the name Noah, not sure why, and it wasn’t on my “list”, but I thought about God, and how Noah for years and years lived in a community that people looked down on him because of his belief in God, and following God’s commands in telling his people what God was warning them of. They thought he was crazy, but in the end, Noah followed through and trusted God, and through the flood, the ark, and a rainbow- God shed a new promise and a new beginning on all the earth. So in the midst of Haiti’s devastation and my sole reasoning of being there to help with the destruction of the earthquake that came and went- I prayed for that little boy that little Noah James would become a follower of Christ Jesus, and lead his people in following Christ, and that the Lord would start a new beginning in Haiti. (Which as many know, is a desolate, poverty-stricken country, heavily into VooDoo).

Now this little story of naming Noah (which his mom had never heard before, and pronounced it quite differently than we would here, and when I told her what his name would be- had the biggest smile on her face and kept repeating it and repeating it over and over) is a branch off of what naming this blog would represent and what it would mean…So I’ll start on the explanation of that tomorrow! HA! Teaser, huh?

 --- I couldn't pronounce his mommy's name, and I don't think she knew to look at the camera either....but this is baby Noah James! (My hair is done by one of the girls at the mission that come in to get paid to do our hair to make a living, not my best look, but pretty neat!)

Goodness, this got mighty long, mighty fast didn't it!? Have a blessed WEDNESDAY! (Already? jeesh!)