Friday, March 20, 2015

Wake up call!!


We've reached the (near) END (I'm reluctant to say 'end' until my rear end is on a moving escalator at DM International Airport). WE RECEIVED OUR EMBASSY DATE/TIME for MONDAY at 9:00am! 

After a devastating "blow" on Tuesday, realizing we were not granted a Wednesday appointment (yesterday), in order to be home this weekend.....we continued to wait. It was SO HARD. I had SUCH a confidence that the Lord would grant us that miracle. I was SO HOPEFUL. Yikes. My hope was not in Jesus, as much as it is in that appointment....tough lesson. 

I wish I could tell you I waited with a smile on my face, or that I didn't for a second, question God's plans for us, or that I wasn't disappointed because "God has this". In fact, I had some hard questions, that I reached out to a couple WISE friends and followers of Jesus to help me wrestle through. 

It all came back to: 
- it's not about us/me. (already knew that, HELLO KENDRA, WAKE UP! (again!))
- Do I trust GOD, or not? Period. 
- I was wanting MY will, not HIS will. "Your kingdom come, thy will be done". NOT MY WILL. 
- Does it mean that God loves another person who got embassy more? me less? NO.
- Does that mean God isn't with me? UH, NO. 
- What are my motives for praying? To twist God's arm to my will? Or to ask Him to mold my heart and desires to HIS will....what He knows is best for me? 
- Why pray? What is prayer for? COMMUNICATION with God and His children. Not to get your "three wishes granted". HE, the Almighty God, is NOT a magic genie, granting wishes. 
- Encouragement to pray over and for other families staying here. 
- I've been too focused on the "what's next in the process?" than the 'in the moment'....why does GOD have me in UGANDA, not just for the adoption, but my impact and influence for HIS kingdom, with the people I'm sharing not only a guest house with, but LIFE with (in and out of these walls)! 

With all that being said, I'm thankful for the "thunk" on my head a few trusted people gave me, so lovingly. 
I'm thankful for so many things here! From not so important things, to super duper important things. 

- THE HOT weather. 
- A suntan....hey!  A very pale Iowan, made for the sun, is appreciative of some Vitamin D. ;) 
- Fresh fruit
- Unprocessed (for the most part) food!
- New adoptive families I'm living with...what a blessing to walk through this HARD journey together. Encouraging and praying for one another, watching/helping each other's kids....
- A safe place to call home!
- Running water
- Electricity (that stays on pretty conistantly)
- Great food
- hospitality of Ugandans
- bonding with Carver and Macy in THEIR environment, culture, language, climate, etc.
- Time away from the absolute CHAOS-- that is America. The pace of life here is sooooooooooo much less stressful, even in a very stressful situation we're in. 
- Facetime and iMessage and Wifi
- the leaps and bounds (and backwards/steps back some days) that is happening in bonding/attaching, Carver (and Macy, really) picking up English.

I could go on, but for now I need to check into some flights home for next week. ;) I'll send another email closer to Embassy day, and let you know how you can be praying for us yet. 

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