So I was cleanin out one of my bookshelves/night stands, and check out what I found :)
This crinkled, bent, wrinkled, torn, not-so-white anymore legal pad with a very long list written on it.
It's dated from 2008-
when God started getting a hold of my life and using a not-so-hot relationship to show me what HE wanted me to have because HE knew EXACTLY what I needed.
I mean, He knows me best.
I wrote a lot of things that I knew I desired in a man, and a lot of things I dealt with in the past, (present at that time) that I knew I absolutely knew I DID NOT WANT.
(Warning: this is word for word, explanation point for explanation point)
(another warning: yes, some are very cheesy, slightly unrealistic, etc- but hey, don't hate)
- Godly-man, first and foremost ( I'm SO glad I didn't compromise one this)
- someone who I can be myself with at all hours (well, we fart, wrestle, sing, and make fools of each other in front of the other all the time)
- makes me laugh
- i can make him laugh
- my best friend
- honest- trustworthy above all else
- Romantic- doesn't mind, actually enjoys, going out of his way to make me feel special (Beau's a PRO at this, flowers, treats, etc allllll the time)
- thinks I'm beautiful (pretty, gorgeous, you name it- he tells me, make-up/sweats etc)
- love notes!! love letters, whatever (you should SEE my planner, bathroom mirror, car)
- able to tell him anything (You don't even wanna know)
- he can tell me anything (see above)
- PDA! (appropriate) haha (by this, i meant holding hands wherever we're headed private or public)
- loves to cuddle, snuggle, hold hands, kiss, anytime! (even MORE than I do)
- knows what he has when he has me (never ceases to tell me how blessed he feels by the Lord that he found me) WOW!
- adopt kids from Africa (he said he'd never even considered it before meeting me, or before becoming a believer- and now he's okay with or without biological children. This is a HUGE difference from my previous relationship and the things he would say about adoption, or the race of what I'm so passionate about. Unbelievable- God is SO GOOD)
- can take my romanticism, haha (he LOVES IT)
- can cook, because I can't (we're working on this one- our meals consist of eggs, toast, cereal, chicken breasts, and the occasional grilled cheese)
- fits in with and respects my family (they love him more than they do me- that's NOT an exaggeration)
- faithful. (can't even describe just HOW faithful he is- he's done so well with making me feel so secure- compared to the 'past')
- holds me whether I'm crying/in a bad mood or happy mood
- he can never tell me how much he loves me, too much! (I think these are the most words used in his vocabulary each day)
- can be a little jealous :) (don't get me started!)
- "ride" together!!! (By this- I'm a HUGE motorcycle guru..I shake with excitement about Harley's and going on rides. Although when I met Beau he had a "crotch-rocket", he's not opposed to a Harley falling into our hands someday to replace the one he sold for our future!)
- wants me, all of me, forever, everyday!
- HE MAKES AN EFFORT
- Selflessness (most selfless person I know)
- wants whats best for me
- loves unconditionally ( an incredible example of Christ in this sense)
- doesn't yell, raise voice, controls temper (we're big on forgiveness for raised voices, we're human)
- meet 1/2 way- compromise!
- i'm the ONLY one he desires
- appreciates my thoughtfulness (he's SO thankful and always tells me thank you)
- determined, motivated (dedicated to anything he's involved with: work, Men's group, church, Salt, appointments, dates, etc.)
- strong-willed, not too stubborn, yet passive :) (he's THE PERFECT COMBO- seriously, be jealous)
- protective :) (I always tell him I feel so secure, protected, and safe when I'm with him/near him)
- not afraid to show his feelings, open
- loves and respects his family, and CHRIST
- makes time for us, and God (if we were the only two people left on Earth, he'd be ELATED!)
- " a couple who prays together, stays together"
- never go to bed angry
- communication! (thank goodness for unlimited text/minutes- that's all I'll say)
- follows through with what he says he's going to do
- kisses me on the forehead
- excited to see me and misses me when we're apart (2nd most used phrase in our relationship: "I miss you baby, even though it's only been 24 hours!)
- cares about my feelings, emotions, opinions
- loves me and shows me
- he trusts me above anyone else (other than God)
- confident but not cocky!
- says what he means and means what he says
- to be the only one either one of us wants to fall asleep next to, or call at the end of the night or when we wake up each morning (it's sickening, I know, but every night/morning we're the last/first to start the day. Every. Day.)
- opens the door :) (I've let him off the hook for this one, but he does, and did)
- He- pursues me!
- doesn't name call
- doesn't seek revenge
The ones in red, are just details of Mr. Beau, BUT seriously, HE. IS. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. OF. THESE. THINGS.
that I wrote down over three years ago- before I met Beau-Beau!
MAN DOES GOD KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING OR WHAT!
(and knows exactly what I NEED?!?!!?!?!)
This silly list, blows......my........mind.
I'm trying to imagine what God was thinking when I sat on a nasty couch in eastern Iowa that night, writing this through tears...hahaha, laughing MAYBE? a SLY little smile?
What a sovereign reminder to who He is and how GREAT He is, and how thankful I am for His faithfulness and direction, and most of all- the BLESSING HE'S GIVEN TO ME through BEAU!
I CAN'T WAIT TO MARRY HIM! :)