Wednesday, September 26, 2012

I've Cried.

I can't sleep.

I'm a night owl. Which SO doesn't work out when you have to be up early to get goin and teach a solid 100+ 5th graders in the morning 8:00-3:00. Yowzas.

I was just layin in bed, trying to fall asleep to Friends, counting down the 30 minute sleep timer on my television...I couldn't get my mind to wind down. Wasn't happenin'. So I'll blog.

I've had a whirlwind of a last few weeks. Months really.
But in the last week I've cried.
I've cried a lot.

I've cried on the phone to sweet sweet friends. With that awkward squeaky-cracky voice. Jeepers.
I've cried while texting sweet sweet friends. Slightly less awkward.
I've cried on my oh so sweet co-op teacher's shoulder at school. Bless her heart.
I've cried in my car. Watch out.
I've cried in my bed. Sorry Beau.
I've cried sitting across from a woman I barely know, as she walks me through this. Another Godsend.
I've cried the big ol' ugly cry on my living room floor. Thankful for no hidden cameras. Sorry neighbors.
I've even cried through an entire box of Kleenex. In one sitting. Nasty.

I've cried over broken friendships.
I've cried over betrayal by family members.
I've cried over what was.
I've cried over what will never be.
I've cried over abandonment by my mother.
I've cried because I'm a girl, and according to my husband, that's what we do.
I've cried because of how evil that darn Devil is.
I've cried because I want Jesus to come back. Now.

Which is funny- because, I'm not a cry-er. I just may be proving myself wrong though??

With that being said, can I ask you to lift my family up in prayer tomorrow afternoon? I'll get more into it in later posts, but if I could bother you with this request, I would be eternally grateful. Pray that good would overcome evil, that the truth would prevail over personal perceptions and lies. Pray that God would be glorified by both parties, and peace in whatever the outcome is. Most of all, pray for God's will. Whatever cup he gives. Sometimes we have to be okay with how God may choose to grow us, stretch us, and teach us something, even if we don't understand His reasoning behind it. I've adopted a little slogan from another fellow Godly blogger-

 "It’s definitely not easy…no way…but I get a choice…at the top of my lungs, hallelujah."

So I'll just go with that. And end the night early morning with that.

(for the record, I'm not crying right now. ;) that's a plus, right?)

1 comment:

Lynnea said...

Praying for you and your family, Kendra.

If I know one thing, God holds the brokenhearted.