One week from today, I'll pack my little green bean Honda Civic and drive to Chicago.
Of course, the most highly asked question the past few weeks have been, "I bet you're SO EXCITED!", or "Are you really excited?", or "Oh man, that is so exciting!".
HAHA! Obviously, the answer to that question is YES! YES YES YES I am stinkin excited.
The not-so-obvious answer is also, "I'm freakin' out over here dude!".
I traveled to Haiti in 2010 with 40+ people. In 2011 my dream came true to travel to Africa, and went with 6 others to Malawi. A few short months later, I flew to Jamaica with the love of my life for our honeymoon.
The common denominator to that little paragraph above, is that I have never traveled alone. I've never driven through or to Chicago by myself. I'm of course, a little anxious about making it to the right gate and terminal and connection all by myself. I'm nervous about the realization that no matter where my plane ticket has me sitting, it's not next to anyone I know....for two 8 hour flights, and another 2 hour flight. That's not exactly in my comfort zone, people. I arrive Wednesday in Entebbe at 10:36 at night....I'll be picked up by the orphanage admin, and then catch some sleep in a guest home before setting off for the trip to the orphanage the next day. (about 4-5 hours away)
THEN the moment I've been waiting for....in all of my jet-lag glory....I'll for the first time get to SEE (with my EYES, them, in the flesh) of the children God has placed in our family right now....
Who will I see first?
Who will I pick up first?
Will they be scared out of their minds?
Mr. C is known to be shy...how will I break through that little wall?
HOW CAN I LOVE ON THEM THE MOSTEST MOSTEST EVER! ;)
But then the real fears of this situation, no doubt planted by the enemy....
Missing Beau. Processing all of this alone.
How am I going to be any different to them than any other visitor?
How do I interact with them in a way that's different than the other kiddos there- as you know, like a MOTHER AND CHILD. I've NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE!
And all of this is going on as the lovely caretakers of the orphanage look on- awkwaaaaaaaard.
How am I going to say goodbye?
A few wise women encouraged me to realize that God will meet me with every emotion, every fear...He is there. Also, to not have too high of expectations....this is "big" for me, my visit may not 'click' with them until Beau and I both travel over there, to then bring them home. This could be the Lord planting a seed within them for him to sow later.
Join me in praying for them? For me? For Beau back here at home?
And of course (!!!!) I'll try to keep you updated as often as possible if not when I come home for sure. I haven't quite figured out the whole communication from there to here while I'm there.....let's face it, I also haven't been vaccinated for yellow fever, typhoid, Hep A, etc at all yet....and I leave a week from today.
I need to get on it.
OH! And happy 8 months baby M girl!! LOVE YOU!